Diary of a Vampire
by trapdoorluver
Summary: Julie, a vampire, tells of her past and present as she is to fullfill the ancient prophecy of saving her vampire race. Will the love of her maker drive her to the brink of insanity? Can she be parted from him as she trains to save him? Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Dear Diary,

Now, I have never had a diary before, nor did I desire to write one, but I think I should start one. My life has become complicated, unbelievably strange. Day after day, hour after hour it grows weirder, stranger. Since I am surrounded my un-understanding individuals, I believe that you could serve as my listener. Can you listen, diary? Of course you can, you listen better then anyone ever could. You don't talk back, you don't make rude comments, you don't roll your eyes. Well, for that I thank you.

All this strangeness, all this disaster started a year ago exactly. The night was cold, dark, and I was traveling home from the club with my friends. We had just turned twenty-one and were eager to live our lives to the greatest extent, which meant hitting every party, every club on our way. My friends were drunk, swaying everywhere with intoxication. I was not, for I disliked the taste of liquor. They were falling all over me, grasping onto my shirt, falling upon my feet.

It was nearly one in the morning and I drastically wanted to be at home, away from my drunken friends. We were miles away from their homes, so I decided to cut through an alley. This was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Suddenly I was attacked, my friends screaming yelling for help, flailing their arms around wildly. They disappeared. Stupid so-called friends.

Anyways, I was attacked by a dark figure, decked out in dark clothes. Black leather pants, a black cloak. His hair was slicked back, and his eyes shot through me like needles. Those eyes were amazing, quite possibly the most beautiful orbs I had ever seen in my life. "My love." He said as he stroked my hair. I flinched with horror. I mean, who did he think he was? Calling me his "love." It was plain creepy. But wait, it gets creepier. He grazed his fingers across my lips, hushing my whimpering. "You will soon be my eternal love." He said brushing my hair behind my head. I turned away from him, refusing to give into those amazing eyes. They pained me like you wouldn't believe. So I turned away from them. Then, he let out a sigh, filled with pain. He was staring at my neck, slowly edging closer to it. I quickly snapped my head back just as he had opened his mouth. He had fangs! Fangs! Can you believe that, Diary? He had fangs. Not so unbelievable to me now, but then, it was unheard of. It baffled me, and I stood in interest, or rather dangled in his arms.

"Hold still, my love. This will be painless, I promise." He said, lowering his _fangs _to my neck. I made no attempt to move, I was still in his trance. The trance of his eyes, his fangs. They pushed me into a dream world. A dream world filled with all that gave me ecstasy. But as those fangs pierced my skin, I was pulled from that world and thrown into the harsh reality. The reality that he was feeding upon me. The nerve! _He _was feeding upon _me!_ Did I ever agree to this? No, of course not. But, still, I couldn't move. I was paralyzed with fear.

His hand had then traveled down my leg, rubbing it up and down. This is when I realized his pleasure in this. It pained me so, but I stood still. Dangled in his strong, masculine arms until I was weak with blood loss. There was no use fighting. At the time I wasn't really thinking about getting away. I was just thinking about how I could avoid those entrancing eyes. How I could dodge them, refuse them. That was no problem, however, for he never opened them. I could see them move behind his eyelids, but they never opened.

As time pressed on, and he drew even more and more blood from me, I became more languid. After he had had his fill he dropped me carelessly to the floor. Even though I was disgusted, I showed no sign of this. My eyes were droopy and they fell heavily shut. All I could think of at that time was how I was going to die. I swear I almost did, for I traveled to a different dreamland. This one was full of every dead. Dead, lifeless trees lined the street I walked on. Brown flowers littered the dead grass and lifeless animals lay everywhere. There was no sun, just the moon. It seemed like day, but obviously it wasn't. No birds filled the black sky, and no bugs hopped across the road. It was just me, among dead, lifeless corpses of animals and plants. No other humans were in this scene, just me. Alone and isolated among the dead.

"My love, awake." I heard, just an echo in the distance. It seemed to be a whisper, attempting to beckon me. Casually I ignored it, expecting myself to be crazy. "My love, awake." I heard once more, this time louder. I searched around my area, afraid to move. I kicked aside a corpse of a rabbit. I heard it over and over, and it began to frustrate me. Where was this voice? Where was it? I kicked aside another corpse, this time of a cat. "My love, awake." The voice was strong, yet soft. I looked ahead; a bright white light was shining my way. "Hey! Over here!" I shouted foolishly. I waved my hands over my head and the light came closer. It began to grow with every inch closer it became. Suddenly it got so close it seemed to consume me. It flashed in my face and suddenly I discovered it all a dream. My eyes flickered open and there stood the same monster that attacked me in the alley.

I quickly drew back from him, screaming at the top of my lungs. My throat was dry, cracked, and my screaming stopped unwillingly. My voice was gone! The stranger nodded. "My name is James." He said, slightly laughing as he ripped away part of his shirtsleeve. He casually ripped away part of his skin until blood began pouring out of the wound. "Drink." He said. Was he crazy? Drink his blood? That is disgusting! But I did, I don't know why, but I did. Was it those eyes? Did they entrance me again? Probably. My lips covered the wound and I sucked the blood from his wrist. I heard his heartbeat loudly in my ears. With every drop that traveled into my mouth, the beat grew louder. Soon, it filled my head, pounding against my brain. It seemed to drug me. This was not the beautiful experience that it seemed to be. It was not like getting your blood sucked from you. There was no dreamland, just that damned beating of that heart against my brain.

I pushed away his wrist just as it began to hurt. "The first meal is always the worst." He said blankly. I looked into those eyes again. They now had no effect over me. Where was that trance? That power? They were now just eyes. No longer gods over me, just eyes. Suddenly a pain shot through my jaw and I flung back in pain. I screamed, yelled for help. James just sat there, fixing up his wrist. "It will soon end, all will be fine." He said casually, as if he didn't care. A white thing fell to the floor, and I reached for it. Again, another fell to the floor, and I picked it up. It was my tooth! My tooth! It had fallen out! But just two. What was happening to me? I felt them growing back, if that is possible. I felt the fangs slide into place. All the pain went away. I remember that as my greatest moment of relief.

"It is finished." James said as he reached over to brush back my hair. He placed it behind my ear and smiled. "You are now a vampire." A vampire! A vampire? I thought those were fictional characters, but now I know that is false. The fact that they are fictional _is _fictional. Ha!

Well, thanks diary, for listening. I was right, you are great at it. Maybe, when all is wrong again, like tomorrow, I will write again. But for now, I am hungry.


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Diary,

I'm back, whether you like it or not. I need you, I really do, my newfound friend. Without you I fear I could not make it through this eternity that I have been forced to live. Without you I would become a lifeless drone, walking through life, _without _really living. I want to live, diary, I want to live. To truly understand what the position I am in now, you must understand what I have went through. I told you of how I became what I am now, but after that you know nothing. Nothing of the murder, the rituals, the blood. Well, I guess I should get started. There is much to tell you.

After I had become a vampire and went through all that pain of my old self dying. The pain of the teeth, the first meal, and my body dying, James took me back to his lair. _Lair._ That's not even the right word. It was much grander than that, much more beautiful. It was like the kingdom of darkness, all confined into a single castle room.

As he opened the door, it creaked loudly, causing me to jump in fear. Not fear of what was happening, more of what was _going _to happen. What I didn't know as that door opened, was that their was nothing to fear of my physical being, just of my mental state, but that is beside the point. The room was pitch dark, but somehow I could see anyways. At the time this was amazing to me, that no matter the darkness I could see perfectly. The room was filled with everyday things. A piano, picture frames, and furniture. A red, velvet chair in the corner, a table on the wall, all seemed normal. But what I saw next was horrifying. A coffin lay in the corner opposite of me. Where all the legends true? Did vampires actually sleep in sarcophaguses? That was horrible. My mind was racing. Coffin, coffin. There's a coffin there, what is that for?

"Home, sweet, home." Said James as he lighted a candle. "Now, you must sit, I believe I have some explaining to do." His smile melted my heart. Despite his lack of power of me from his eyes, he still had the power to command me with his smile, his voice, even his gestures. He was just amazing, everything about him still left me wanting more. I nodded then sat in the velvet chair, still gazing at the coffin in the corner. "I see you like the sarcophagus." He chuckled as he sat down in the chair opposite mine. I released a nervous laugh than looked away from the taunting piece of furniture. "You will get used to it, don't fret, my dear." He reached out to grasp my hand and I let him take it willingly.

"Why don't you use lights?" I asked stupidly. "Do they hurt you-" I stopped. "Us?" I corrected myself. He smiled again and shook his head in amusement.

"No, artificial light does not hurt us, just the sun's light. I find candlelight more peaceful. I still have not adjusted to the new discovered light." His voice was strong, masculine and overpowered me with emotion.

"What do you mean, you have not 'adjusted' to it?" I was curious, searching for any answers I could find about this man. I wanted to know all there was to know about him, I wanted to actually _know_ him, his past.

"Well, as you know, because you are a vampire, you are therefore immortal. Well, I was made a vampire in spring 1780. At that time, electricity was unheard of, impossible." 1780! This was insane, was he lying to me? Was this all one, great, big joke? Was the blood an illusion? Was the whole scene a joke? No, it can't be. It wasn't. I looked down, unwillingly to believe what I had just heard. I was arguing with myself, I don't remember about what, but I remember that I refused to believe what he was saying. Even though I knew it was true, I didn't want it to be. I didn't want to have to become this thing, this monster. Why me? I thought.

Noticing my discomfort he parted his lips, then took back his words as if he was all of a sudden confused. Then, seeming as he regained his confidence he began. "I will explain to you some things, some rules." I nodded, still refusing to look at him. He sighed, as if giving up hope.

"You, as a vampire are unable to walk in daylight, just as you have heard in the legends. So, hopefully, you have had your fill of the sun's light, because you will never see it again, never feel the warmth again. You will now, forever be stuck in darkness, in the pure chill of the moonlight." He stopped, as if waiting for a response. I gave him no words, and sat there, unmoving. I stared straight ahead, near tears.

"But, unlike the legends, you _can_ be near garlic, that is a foolish thing some idiot made up for fathom his imagination. Also, you can look at a cross; they are actually fun to look at. Beautiful things, really. Holy water, no effect. A church, I go to regularly, night masses. My belief in the Lord though, is non-existent, as will yours eventually. Oh Julie, you will see, as time passes by, your religion no longer matters. How could there be a God, that lets me suffer this way, let's our kind suffer like this?" This shocked me. I came from a highly religious family, told that God was the only way and if you didn't follow that, you were doomed to Hell.

"We are children of darkness, Julie, there is no avoiding that truth." He repeated. "Any other questions?" He said reaching out to pull my face up towards his.

At that moment I remember my heart ceasing to beat. Or did it ever beat? I feel it beat, but I thought I was dead. Do the dead still possess hearts? We must for I felt mine halt with his look of compassion. I fell in love with him, with his voice, his face. Everything about him I loved. "No." I gasped, forcing myself to look away from him. He stood, and said "Very well." He walked over to the coffin. I had forgotten about it and he had just brought it to my attention once more. Bloody James! Why had he done that? I will never know. He knew it pained me to see it, but he did it nonetheless.

"We must sleep, I will tell you what we must do tomorrow. What you must become shall be a secret until the sunset tomorrow." Why must he be so mysterious? So damn mysterious? To this day, he still confuses me, leaves me dumbfounded with his words. He slid back the lid of the coffin, and gestured for me to walk over to him. Slowly I edged closer to him, gulping back my fear.

"You will sleep here, I will sleep in the other over there." He pointed to another coffin in the far corner. I hadn't seen that one when I entered, and suddenly my fear dispersed. He would be in the same room, nothing could happen. I barely knew him, yet, with him I felt as if nothing could harm me. I slowly stepped into the sarcophagus, no longer afraid of what I had to do. Once in, I laid back and closed me eyes.

"Goodnight." Whispered James. "Don't let the _dead _bugs bite." He roared with laughter as he shut the lid. All was black, and all I could hear was the echo of his haunting laughter. Fear arose once more. I contained it and tightened my eyes shut. Damn you James for having that haunting laughter which teased me throughout that whole night.

More later, Diary. With all this blasted talk of sleep, it has made me weary. Tomorrow I will tell you about James. You will like that story, I promise you. Really, you are my best friend. I am sorry but you are doomed to spend eternity with me.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Diary,

Once more I am here. Here to spill my emotions across this paper. Events, happenings that continue on finding their way to me, they are starting to frustrate me. Why does everything happen to me? Every spill of a drink, spills on me. Every crack in the street, I fall upon. I guess I am just an unlucky person. Stupid genes! Why did I have to inherit the clumsy one? Why not the pose one, or the swift gene? Why can't I be swift!? That is a topic for another day, now I shall tell you about James. My sweet, wonderful James.

By now you are probably wondering why I think he is so wonderful. Well, how do you describe a love so deep as ours? How do you begin to tell of the relationship between a vampire and her maker? I can try as hard as I can, but I will tell you now, you won't understand. Mortal love is nothing compared to the love of immortality. The love between two vampires is special, different. Compassion and lust are the leaders, and they continue to lead for eternity. Now, just think, think real hard of the deepest love you have heard of. Think. Now times that by a katrillion! Then take that and multiply it again. Let me put it this way. When a person thinks their in love, they believe they can spend forever with that one person, when the truth is they can't and end up getting a divorce some time later. Well, when two vampires say they are in love, they really are because they have to really spend _forever _with that person. So why mess it up? Why not get it right the first time?

Anyways, back to James. Ever since that first night when he slid the coffin lid shut above me, I knew I loved him. I hated him, yet loved him. It was that kind of love. But when the lid shut above me and I closed my eyes, and my mind began to descend into that deep vampire sleep, I dreamt of him. Of his dark hair, majestic eyes, and of course his haunting laughter. His smile also possessed my dreams. How could I not dream of that smile? The eyes, once important to me, once amazing, I no longer cared for. His hair, beautiful but unimportant. His laughter although mesmerizing, did not compare to that smile. His pure white teeth, peeking through above those rosy red lips. Those two fangs pressing up against his lower lip. It enticed me, drove me insane. I would do anything for that smile. I would do stupid little things, just to make those disappearing teeth to shine through his lips. It worked, of course, but at times I felt my senseless tripping over things, my running into various objects turned him away from me.

Constantly I debated with myself whether he truly hated me, despised me. For day after day, after my show of clumsiness, he would laugh, but that is all, then retire to his room. Pleased with myself, and filled with the sweet ecstasy of his smile I would sit behind his door, head rested upon it and sigh a relieving sigh. I was caught up in his world of beautiful laughter and smiles, so I was oblivious as to what was truly going on behind those closed doors. As to what happened after he drugged me with that smile, then locked himself away. Later, I would find out, first hand why I was truly made, and why he did that every evening. But then, I did not care.

Although my suspicious thoughts ate at me at times, I continued on with my cherade. It seemed to please me for awhile, but then my soul became empty with the routine. It longed for more, as a drugee is fed up with the same amount of drugs and longs for a higher dosage. I wanted a longer smile, a greater laughter. I wanted to feel his touch, his warmth. So I talked to him more and more, searching for words from him. One evening in particular, I remember vividly.

I was sitting in the same chair as that first night, him as well in the chair opposite mine. He was reading a book and I sat staring longingly at him.

"James-" I began, unsure of what I was going to say. I remember attempting to pull back an enormous lump in my throat. "how are you?" I asked foolishly. Once more that smile arose, sending a shock through my body. I tightened in fear that I would give in to the drug.

"I am fine, how are you?" He set down his book, as if ready to have a serious conversation. The only thing that told me that he was not going to have one was the expression on his face.

"Well-good, I guess." I choaked.

"Are you unhappy with something?" He was concerned, I could tell. And because of this I became tense. I leant back in my chair, trying to act as if I was alright.

"No, not unhappy." A look of fury spread across his face. It was random and completely unwelcomed.

"Don't I give you everything your heart desires!" He rose from his seat, and pushed away a table beside him. He sent it crashing to the ground, shattering the vase that sat upon it. "Don't you have every possession you could ever wish for?!" I shrunk within my seat, cowering in fear.

"No." I whispered, then I stopped shrinking away from him. And rose to face him head on. "No!" I screamed. "I want you, James! Can't you tell by the way I look at you, long for your attention!?" With this, the look of fury was wiped from his face, and he turned and retired to his room once more.

No more, diary. My heart aches too much for this. Maybe later I will write once more. Love you!


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Diary,

By now I bet you are wondering what happened to my friends. Well, truth is, they were horrible friends, but not _that _horrible, they didn't abandon me. After fleeing from the scene, (and away from me) they went straight to the police. Even in their drunken state, they knew that I needed help, little did they know they were ages too late.

The police, knowing it was too late because whatever the stranger wanted to do to me he would have been done already, waited until morning. Now this gave James time to perfectly plan my disappearance. After taking me to his lair, he left me there, gasping for more blood. I could explain to you that horror, the horror of desperation, but it is point less. We will just leave it at that, I was _desperate _for blood, so I had no strength to follow him, and this is what he wanted. Now, see, he told me this story days later, when my desire for the world I left behind was gone.

He told me that he left me in his lair, alone and desperate, like I said, and went out into the darkness. He found a random girl in a tavern and enticed her to follow him to an abandoned house deep within the woods. Why she was stupid enough to do this, I still do not know. Anyway, he led her there then told her to wait as he changed clothes, or something like that. And she did, and he snuck out the back of the tiny wooden house. Then he set it on fire! Yes, he set it on fire! And after the fire had settled, he went back inside the house and grabbed the burnt girl. Her hair was all gone, and her skin was burnt to a crisp. This is what he wanted. He slung her over his shoulder and hurriedly ran to the alley in which he attacked me. He set her down, then left. When the police found her, they assumed she was me! Can you believe that? They were content on believing some random girl they found in an alley to be me! Shows how good our police are.

Not only is James beautiful, he is genius. It amazed me how he could think of things so quickly. It still baffles me. Although my dark powers are evolved I still do not possess that power. It is possible that he had planned the event over centuries, but I prefer to think of him as a genius who can conjure up thoughts at the drop of a dime. A brain possible of creating twisted, sick plans along with the beauty of his appearance captivates me to this day, and I prefer to see him in that way. He deserves to be seen that way.

As I said, he left me starved for blood in his lair as he did this task. As I laid their helpless, and languid, I saw, not my life flash before me like most say happens when you are near death, but the present. I saw James, standing before me, thin and strong as he was, making gestures I did not understand. His mouth moved but no words released from them, or I did not hear them, I do not know. This was an illusion, of course. In place of the words a high-pitched screech projected from his lips. Not a scream, more of a singing voice, reaching the highest possible note. I, cringing with ultimate pain, grabbed at my ears, attempting to soften the noise. Useless-completely useless.

"Stop! Please, I will do anything!" I remember seeing me scream, but my voice was clouded by the note, consumed into nothing. I hurriedly curled into a ball, seeming as if it would block out the noise. It is amazing how, in fear, immortals as well as mortals curl into the fetal position, though they know it is completely useless, as well as pointless. It is _more _dangerous then staring that fear directly into its eyes. Even then, you would have a fighting chance.

In that moment I felt I was dying, that note piercing my eardrums enough to seem as if they were bleeding. I knew they weren't, but for some reason wished they had. Then maybe James would see that I was in agony. But this was a hallucination, his eyes looked passed me. They were fixed upon the wall behind me, blankly looking at the pale white wall. _Look at me, James! Me! I am in pain, can't you see? _I remember thinking. How could he not see my pain?

I snapped out of this trance, this scene with the voice of James, his real voice. Not the painful screech I heard before. I was relieved, never had I wanted the voice of anyone one person so much as I did in that instant. He lovingly picked me up, not struggling a bit with the weight I still carried on from my mortal self. Then he compassionately set me within the coffin.

"You mustn't drink tonight, my love. You must learn the feeling of desire, of starvation, only then can you appreciate the blood you receive." With that he shut the sarcophagus lid and my eyes heavily fell shut.

That night, I dreamt of nothing but blood. Mountains of blood, blood running down a stream, over a waterfall. It chasing me down a dark, empty hallway, and me turning, open mouthed, to consume it all. Now I know the true desire of blood, and what it means to consume it. I love blood.


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

I recall telling you that James filled me with ecstasy, but what I didn't tell you was that he filled me with such ecstasy and uncontrollable longing that I could go days and days without feeding. Just looking into those eyes, staring at that smile, playing my little games to bring that smile about kept me full for days. But when the charades came to an end and I arrived at the realization that I hadn't fed, I was _starving. _I was desperate for any blood of any sort. Because of that I would drink for hours on end, hunting one after the other, not even playing the games that most vampires did. I just simply attacked and fed. Simple as that.

But that ecstasy, that beauty, it kept me preoccupied. I loved it. Little did I know at the time that, that feeling of weightlessness as he looked at me, that shock that ran throughout my body as he smiled would soon come to an end. That all the drug I had consumed would come to abrupt halt.

Most of what I had told you so far has been the glory of my adventure of becoming what I am. But the horrors lay ahead, the truth would reveal itself sooner than I had wished. Throughout my days I had come to believe that James made me a vampire out of pure love. Love for my appearance, my mind. That was not so, turned out he had a plan for it all along. He was _instructed_ or rather obligated to convert me to this darkness. Not until centuries later did I find this out, however. My true fate was something entirely different than what I had dreamt. I believed that I was just another languid immortal, forcibly turned into another child of darkness, forced to live by night while mortals walked above us by day.

The day is still unbelievably clear to me. Still, as I close my eyes I can imagine it. The day when James, as lovingly as he could, told me of my future. No, not the future that I would make for myself, but the future in which I would be forced to travel. He was dressed in all leather, a black cape draped helplessly over his frail shoulders. His hair dangled in his face, hiding his eyes behind a black drape of tangled hair. He was seated in a red velvet chair, as was I. I was reading a book, and he was blankly staring past me as if I did not exist. He had always done that, looked right past me, and to this day it bothers me. I longed for his attention, but he never gave it to me.

"Do you wish to be mortal, Julie?" He said out of the blue. I was shocked by this, he had not even spoken to me the entire night, just lurked about the room. Still he did not look at me, and my eyes darted up to his, calling for his gaze. He did not answer my plea and I gave up.

"No, James. I no longer wish for that life. I have seen the many benefits of this life of immortality." Somehow, during my changing as a vampire, my language had changed. I no longer babbled like an uncontrollable teenager, I actually could complete sentences with ease. Not just sentences of average mortal, but majestic statements that perplexed most.

"Very well." He nodded, then finally broke his blank daze. At last he looked at me. My heart skipped as he looked into my eyes, and I remember hoping my breath not to cease, for I wanted him to continue to stare into my eyes. The ecstasy was coming.

"You have much to learn, much to hear." Why had he always been so vague? I hated it, I really did. He always spoke emotionless and mechanic. He never added detail to his words.

He shifted in his seat, straightened his posture then settled himself deep within the chair. It seemed to consume his small frame, and I was baffled by it. I don't remember why, or how, but I know I was amazed by the idea of him being so inadequate to this chair.

"Long have I awaited this little talk we are about to have. Oh, how I have rehearsed this conversation, never able to get it right. It seems I will have to 'wing it'." Suddenly emotion linked itself to his tone. This was new, and once more I longed for his voice. I nodded then he carried on.

"The reason I asked you if you longed for the mortal life any longer, was because to know your fate you must have let go of your old life entirely. This new knowledge can be a curse, a burden, or it can be a grand thing. Julie, I wanted it to be grand, so I waited until you no longer loved your old life." He had my attention. Anything he would do, I would discover every detail, every gesture. My mind did not wander, as it usually did, it stood attention like a cadent to his drill sergeant. He saw this rare opportunity and continued on.

"Although I love you, Julie, I did not make you out of pure love. I made you for an entirely different reason." He loves me, I remember thinking. Then I attempted to disperse the thought, noticing that my mind began to wander. I shook away the silly infatuation and continued listening.

" I made you out of business, out of survival." He stammered. "Men stalk us, certain men. They know we exist and can destroy us all, Julie. Can you imagine? The immortal are truly _not _immortal." He chuckled the cutest chuckle and I did the same, wanting to amuse him in any way possible. I hoped he would continue laughing, as he did the night he placed me in the coffin, but he ceased.

"Ancient scripts, ancient legends tell of a woman. Mortal born, and full of innocence. So full of innocence that she travels through life without realizing she is. She is totally oblivious to everything. She knows only of good, not of evil." He paused, as if thinking of what to say next. "She is beautiful beyond belief. Too beautiful for mortal eyes." He whispered, glancing down at his fists and showing for the first time, weakness.

"This woman will devour the demon who haunts the vampire clans. With her newfound immortal beauty she will trap the demon, and kill them all. She will save the vampire race. This woman is you, Julie. You will save us all!" His enthusiasm grew with those last words and my heart officially stopped. Stopped entirely. Not really, but it did. I swear by it. _You will save us all, Julie. _BULL! How can little me save an entire race? Who knows, but you will soon find out.

Now, I am weak will hunger, and I must leave. You will find out more tomorrow. This Diary is what is keeping me sane in all the chaos that is now surrounding my life.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Diary,

I was to save the vampire race. Me. The girl who was always teased in school, the girl who couldn't even get a date for high school prom, she is now, "too beautiful for mortal eyes"? No, he must have the wrong girl. During that time I was in denial, completely refusing to believe even the slightest detail in which my beloved James told me. Still, I do not believe I am supposed to do this, I mean, what creature would? Any normal person would first go into denial that she was supposed to save an entire race! It's just the path unto which one must travel to realize one's responsibilities, everyone knows that.

Anyways, after telling me that I am the beauty that would save him and the entire clan, he went into greater detail about the "prophecy". I remember him still sitting casually in that velvet chair, attempting to hide his uneasiness.

"The goddess will unleash her holy powers to shield the monster's eyes from the truth. She will blind the monster from all that surrounds it. Only then can the clan retaliate." His voice grew distant, as if he was reciting some script he was forced to memorize as a child.

"You're the goddess that will shield their eyes and allow us to fight back. You will put a protective shield over us, so we can fight in day. I don't know how, but you will. Julie, you must leave me. Leave me to get trained." He refused to look at me and this pained me more. Along with the devastating news, he wouldn't even look at me! I suppose he wouldn't because it pained him as well, he didn't want me to go.

"A Ms. Janice Millassio. She will inform you further on the tasks in which you must complete." He paused, trying to muster up strength to continue his words. "And Julie-" I saw the weakness grow within him, begin to take over his form, his face, his eyes. He was on the verge of tears, but being the masculine man he was, fought against them, refusing them. "I-" He began, his voice shaky and unsure of itself. I sat up straight in my seat, awaiting the words I have waited too long to hear.

"Yes?" I said, seeing him in great discomfort. He closed his eyes, blinking away the tears that insisted on falling. He shook his head and lowered his face to his palms.

"I love you." He whispered, barely allowing me to hear him. I remember a smile appeared on my face. I remember it overtaking me entirely. Nothing else mattered in that moment except for me and him, him and those _words _he had just spoken.

"What?" I said, unsure if this was a dream and I would soon wake up. _"Pinch me, wake up, Julie. This is teasing me." _I thought. He raised his head; the tears were gone now, completely invisible. He looked straight into my eyes, I remember that fully. He took his deep, green eyes and stared right into my soul through my own eyes.

"I love you." He repeated, this time louder and confident. He was no longer afraid and I could tell. He gave into his feelings and I was ecstatic. Quickly I stood, smile still plastered over my face. This was the moment I had waited for forever, it seemed. He stood right after me, slowly inching towards me.

With every inch, every centimeter he neared me, my soul soured even higher. His eyes were still gazing at me as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "I love you." He repeated once more, slowly inching his face towards mine. I was nervous, a limp rag doll within his arms, my body was frozen. His lips gently grazed my forehead, and then he aggressively pulled me into an embrace. Suddenly, an unknown strength lifted my arms and wrapped them around his frame. My head released down to his shoulders and rested there.

We stayed in that embrace for what seemed like centuries, just standing there, intertwined. It was like scene from the movies, the scene when the two lovebirds finally admit their desperate compassion. It was wonderful. Even to this day, that haunting memory rests within my mind, teasing me every moment, every second.

But as my body lay limp against his, I felt my lips part. I felt my head raise, and my eyes fill with life. "I love you, too." I felt myself say, and with that he leant in with a gentle kiss. Weirdly gentle for him, usually he was aggressive and manly, but this kiss was entirely different. It was perfect.


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Diary,

I will continue, despite my feeling of dread today. Writing of that awesome moment between me and James is hard, not only hard but completely horrible. It still is the happiest memory I have ever had, but it led to all that is happening today. My complete, utter love for him has dragged me down deeper into the hole in which plagued me with dread and unhappiness. The exact hole in which I am unable to climb out of. The hole in which, no matter how much I scratch at the dirt filled sides, I am unable to escape. It has, and forever will contain me, trap me within its darkness. Darkness that is unable to be penetrated by light, the holy light that is my only chance of escape. But this darkness is way too strong, way too dominant to be defeated by the mere strength of light, with its particles of heat, that course through the air, blessing any who feel it. I wish I could feel that warm, that light. But, because of the punctures in my neck, the two holes, the bite scar that brands me, I am unable, denied that pleasure. Because of this brand, I am forced to live forever in darkness, buried deep within this hole of dread, never to see, never to feel again.

James loved me; I will never forget that beautiful moment, those beautiful words. Never shall I regret that love, that man. But I had to leave him. That was his wish, his desire. Though he loved me, I had to leave him. That was what he said to me, "If you love me, Julie, you will leave me. You will use your love to become what you must, and save us all." I pleaded time after time for him to come with me, to accompany me in my journey. And he refused. As he did, pain spread across his face like a disease. A disease that would soon consume his body, his soul. That beautiful soul, no not that. I would do anything to save his soul, anything. I remember feeling the despair overtake me, cause me to lean ever closer to the unconsciousness that I felt that first night when James left me alone in his lair. I felt it grip my heart, my mind and attempt to pull me into it. I remember pulling away, refusing to give in, for James' sake. I would go. For him. To save his crumbling soul, I would go.

"Fine." I remember mumbling regretfully. I knew I had to, though, for if I stayed it would surely kill him. He wanted to forget me, erase me from his memory. My existence, my presence before him was slowly stabbing him in the heart. Me leaving was for the best, him not following me was the best. I kept telling myself that as I drew in towards him and kissed him lovingly on the forehead. His head was dropped in pain, as if looking at me would decease him entirely. Slowly he raised his hand up to his shirt pocket, and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"Here are the directions to Ms. Janice Malassio's home. Travel with care, my love." His voice drew distant with his last words. Pain echoed deeply within them and I flinched with it. I remember his face, beautiful and captivating as it was, became sad and weak.

I drew back from him, leaning back confused in my chair. I would have given anything for that velvet chair to have consumed me in that moment, killing me forever. Only if that chair would have suddenly grown big, sharp, deadly teeth and crushed me into bits. That pain was nothing compared to what I had been enduring, what I _would _endure. His love was too much. Why couldn't it have been like it was before he walked into my life? Bar hopping every night with my drunken friends, laughing at the carelessness of a random man. That was bliss, not knowing of true love, of the baggage that travels along with it. The ecstasy it brings, the addictiveness it creates, the pain it injects into you. No, it was so simple back then. Being a mortal was simple. An oblivious teenage mortal, uncaring of anything as life passed you by. But now, there was no carelessness, no life passing. There was no life now, just the days, the months, the years, even the centuries. They passed you by no matter what happened, but as an immortal, you _had _to care eventually, for life was eternity. Love would eventually take hold of you, there was no denying it, no hiding from it. When it came, it came, and it would caress you forever. It could bless you, or it could demolish you. That is what James was doing to her, demolishing her. First it blessed, now it turned evil, turning against her. It was her opponent.

"I love you, and I will never forget you." I murmured, my words slurring together in a childish fashion. He raised his head, seeming as if he were in great physical anguish. His eyes were distant, completely vacant. It seemed as she sat thinking of her love, a monster had traveled by and sucked the very life from him.

"Julie, I love you, I always have and I will never forget you." He cleared his throat, painfully and sure of himself. The old confidence came back to him, and for a moment he returned to his old self. "For as long as I live, and we know that will be very long, I will love you and never forget you. And I will find you, Julie, when all is finished, when we have won our battle, I will find you and we will spend the rest of eternity together." With those words, I realized how much he loved me and how much I loved him for I responded with more pleading.

"Please, James, just come with me. You don't have to wait to spend eternity with me, we can start now. Please James, I can't bare this. I can't bare leaving you!" It was useless; he had made up his mind. I would leave, and he would stay.


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Diary,

Last time I had left you, you were gazing in on me and my beloved James beautiful love. A love, indescribable in nature, and impossible to understand by mortal lovers. Immortal love is ten times stronger, unable to break with even the strongest of swords. But that time has passed, and I must train myself to forget it, completely erase it from my mind. Since it is now down on paper, maybe I shall. Or maybe I will keep it locked deep within the dark dungeons of my mind, never to be revealed again. It is all depending on events in which I shall need that happy memory. At times, I may need it, need it so desperately as to sulk within that memory for days, weeks, years. I may plea in my sleep, "James, please, come with me! We can destroy the enemy together!" I may see his face everywhere, on everyone. I may look in the mirror and see him standing behind me, only to turn around and find no one there. He may haunt me forever and an eternity, but shall have that memory, when it is most needed.

But now, we shall forget that memory and return to my adventure! I was to see Janice Milasso, the freaky fortuneteller who mysteriously knows that ancient vampire prophesies. She would tell me what I must do to save my kind, to save all of us, quite possibly the world, but that is just my ego getting carried away. I had really begun to accept and slightly like my destiny, it made me feel like a hero. And feeling like a hero was completely different than feeling like the loser I had my entire mortal life. But anyway, I remember the day perfectly, the day when I first arrived at her shack of a home. It was rather small, settled deep within the jungle of South America. The wooden sides seemed to woefully droop off of the house structure, as if sad and depressed. It gave me shivers, and made me take a step back in fear. This was new, and I had always been afraid of the new, the exciting and different. None-the-less, I stepped closer to the house, encouraging myself with words such as, "James would be proud, he would be excited and happy to know I am conquering a fear." Somehow this helped, tremendously actually. And I found myself at the wooden plank that was pretending to act as a door. My hand fell heavily upon the door, creating the loudest knock I had ever made.

I stood there, for what seemed as, an eternity. Crazy, I know, how a few moments can seem like a lifetime. But it did, and I had thoughts of running away from it all. Just taking a few steps back from the door, then turning and running, far, far away where no one could possibly find me. I would live within these jungles, feed on the bananas of the trees, grow with the monkeys. Silly, I know, but it seemed a thousand times better then what I was meant to do. Suddenly the door swung open with a fierce creak. A woman, barely five foot, with long, gnarled, grey hair stood in the doorway. Her eyes where old and angry, as if they had been upset one too many times. She hunched over, her back permanently hunchback, and her frail structure seemed too tiny for any being, mortal nor immortal. She looked me up and down then nodded, as if satisfied.

"Come, come in, sweety. We have much to speak of, and much too little time to do so." Her voice trembled with uncontrollable tone, like she couldn't control it. But none-the-less, I obeyed, still scared out of my mind. I stepped into the tiny home, and I saw candles burning on every table, every windowsill, and books, thousands of book, lining the walls. Purple curtains draped the windows and walls, and strange pictures in golden frames hung on the walls. My heartbeat had quickened, and my palms had become sweaty. I attempted to disguise my fear with adventurous thoughts, as to not let Ms. Milassio know my cowardice, but I failed.

"It is alright to be frightened, my child, quite alright. Please, sit, sit." She pulled out a rickety, wooden chair. The brown paint was chipped off, and the whole thing seemed as if it would fall apart at any second, but I sat, unable to disobey her commands. She had some kind of hold on me, overpowering my common sense. Common sense that was still telling me to run, common sense that was ordering me to return to James, return to his soft embrace, his passionate kiss. But she held me still with her voice, her trembling unsure voice.

She slowly walked over to one of the book-infested walls. As she walked any person, or thing could tell her age, how old she must be. For she wobbled, and seemed to be pained with every step. Her eyes scanned the wall, searching for a certain book. And when she found it, her eyes seemed to fill with pleasure. She quickly pulled out a giant, black book with a golden spine. I remember the confusion that ran, like wild mustangs, through my mind. She slammed the book on the table, and flipped through the pages. I sat patiently awaiting her next command.

"Julie, my dear, I have waited many a years for your arrival. Light does not shine on the dark life of mine, my child, my light is almost dimmed. My flickering candle of life is soon to be blown out, so I must hurry. Hurry and explain your fate." She stopped pulling back pages, and stopped on a page full of words, no pictures as where the others. I attempted to see it but she, with greed, pulled it away from me. It was in Latin, that is all I know, so I couldn't of read it if I wanted.

Her lips moved as she ran her finger below the sentences. "You will cloud the sun and we shall be in eternal darkness, only then will the vampiric race be dominant." She hadn't looked up at me for some time, and I felt the old want again. As I did with James, to be noticed. "How must I do that?" I said, wanting her to see me, wanting some attention.

"Patience, my child, that is all you need. You need patience to save your love, as well as his. You will gain powers, as centuries pass. You must learn to tame these, not let them overtake you, for if they do, evil shall reign over us all. Mortal and immortal, we will be trapped in evil darkness that will consume even the most godly of us. Julie you must not let emotion take over you, that is my fear with you, my child. Want and greed can consume, and their hunger never ceases." Why did she have to beat around the bush? I remember thinking. But only now do I appreciate those simple stories. How she twisted her thoughts around, to display intelligent words and make me ponder as to why she had done so. I love her now, and I did not then, for fear had overtaken me. I miss her, love her with such longing.

"Yes, Ms. Milassio, I shall never let emotions take over me, that is quite impossible." I lied to myself, as well as her. I truly believed, and still do that I was unable to be conquered, by anyone, as well as myself. She told me that that would be the only way to destroy me. "By destroying yourself, they will win. Satan will win, and his children of darkness will win." I remember her saying, and it frightened me. Even though, my mortals we were considered the "children of darkness", the thought of true Satan lover's scared me right out of my mind. But I had to be strong, and that was exactly what I was going to do, be strong and impossible to defeat.

That is all for now, diary. I need rest, for sunlight is soon to rise, and it waits for no child to do so.


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Diary,

Emotions, never let them take over. That is what she warned me, what she told me was the biggest "no, no" of all. If that should happen, everything would go wrong. Disaster would come, plaguing all who stood in its way. Well, at the time, I thought that could never happen, I was too strong. But now, as my tears smear the words across this thin, piece of paper, I know that I am not strong enough. I am weak. Love takes too strong a hold upon me, cursing me with memories and images of my past. What do I have to do to make them disperse? Why can't they leave me alone? Why can't he? Why must he constantly haunt me? Take residence in my dreams? Why can't I just forget?

Love, that is why. The strongest emotion ever to be felt, by _anyone_. It had to have taken me captive at this time, the time I am most needed to the world, to millions. I will disappoint them, I will. My emotions are leading me deep within a labyrinth that I am unable to find the escape of. I look to the left, a wall, and to the right, a wall. I am trapped within my own soul. Do I go back from where I came from? Or do I carry on, despite my feelings of failure? It is all too complicated. Can I go on without him? Surely if I show up at his door, he will reject me.

"Finish your training! That is the only way! Only way we can survive!" He would say. Why in the hell was he so considerate of others! Why couldn't he be as selfish as I? I would give this all up in an instant for him, yet he would not. He is too obligated to them, the others.

All the years I haven't told you about are just me, melting away as I train. Wait for my powers to meet their height. You couldn't really call it training, just terrorizing the cities, the villages in the jungles of South America. One night in particular, I remember, just last month actually.

The night was young and I had just rose from my sleep. The moon shone brightly across the green, leaved jungle, making even the slightest animal visible even by mortal eyes. My foot fell heavily to the ground, snapping twigs and branches as I flew fastly across the jungle floor. No mortal could have seen me pass, seen me fly past them like a cloaked figure, searching more her next victim, which was exactly what I was doing.

I stopped at the boundaries of a tiny village, buried cozily, deeply within the jungle, secretly hidden from all outsiders. But it could not hide from me, me and my hunger. I pulled my dark hair, back, behind my ear, straightened my coat and slowly began walking into the silent village. The tiny shacks littered the land, their straw roofs covering the sleeping women and children that resided within them. I inched through the town, the scent of blood, of human hearts, slowly eating at me. By this time I was crazed with hunger. I made my way towards the nearest shack, and opened the door. It creaked and I drew back from it, for some reason scared.

I snapped out of my mortal feelings and the beast returned. I threw open the door, and two children shot up their heads. Their screams still haunt me. "Mother!" They cried. "Mother, please help us!" Their pleas were annoying me. I stood like a deer in headlights in the doorway. Another door silently opened, and out came a rather stout woman, dressed in a white nightgown.

"Silent, my children." She glanced at me, then shuffled over to her children's beds. She coaxed them back to sleep, singing a delightful song. They were unable to resist, despite their feelings of uneasiness.

Sleep, my children, sleep 

_Your dreams and fantasies, you will keep_

_Love, laugh and play_

_That is all your tiny minds should have to say_

_Sleep, my children, sleep._

And still I stood, completely horrified by the sight. Had she not seen me? Had she not been afraid? Her calmness, to this day, perplexes me. Finally the children shut their eyes, and fell heavily into a deep sleep. The mother stood, silently, and walked over to me. She shoved me out the door, and carefully shut the door. It did not creak when she did so.

"Who do you think you are?" She whispered harshly. This stunned me. Who do I think I am? How dare she speak with such vulgar at me? Still, she amazed me. Here a stranger burst into her home, awoke her children, and still, she was calm, unafraid of what would come next.

"I am Julie. Miss Milassio has sent me here to feed." Her silky hair caressed her face in the wildest manner. Her plump cheeks, and rosy lips were perfect, and stunned me. But with my words, all courage, all pride diminished from her entirely. She fell helplessly to her knees, begging, pleading that I would not take her children's lives.

"Please, Miss, have a heart. Oh, what am I saying, you are dead! Please spare them, take me instead." Had I been in the right state, I would have just turned from her and went to a different home. But her plumpness was intriguing me. She turned her head to the side, revealing, intentionally, to me, her neck.

"I will not fight, just be silent. Be careful not to wake my children. Take me." She rubbed her neck, and my hunger began to boil within me. It was like a fire, growing larger and larger. She was kindling it, throwing in the wood, enlarging it even more.

I took her arm, raising her to her feet. She was limp, languid within my grasp. She was a rag doll, falling as I hold her. I drew her body close to mine, gently pulling her hair from her face. I heard her whimper, knowing she did not wish to make any sound. She truly did not wish to wake her children. I drew my lips close to her skin, kissing it gently.

"You are a good mother." I whispered deeply into her ear. And with a sudden, swift movement I pierced her skin and drove my fangs deep into her neck. Blood poured, ounce after ounce into my mouth. I could feel my cheeks fill with warmth, and the blood fill my veins. Life, once more, was beginning to return to me. A new strength made its way within my soul, my body, and I release her, letting her fall to the ground.

Her dead body lay helpless on the hard grass, her two small arms intertwined. Her hair had lost its beauty and fell carelessly into her face. She was no longer desirable, just dead and gone. Another victim gone to my careless hunger.

"Mother?" Came a voice from the doorway. I quickly glanced over, and saw the two children, tears streaming down their plumb faces.

"What have you done to mother!" Screamed one of the children. I shot over to him, and covered his mouth with my hand, for fear he would wake the whole village. The other began screaming, and I gathered them both within my arms.

"Mother!" They screamed, time after time, refusing to stop, despite my commands. I drove my fangs into their necks, draining every last drop of their blood. What else was I to do? Leave them there, crying out to their deceased mother? No, now they were all together again. Released into a better place, unlike me. Me, who is to spend forever in hell.

My tears are smearing the words, and I am unable to banish them. I must stop, before the whole entry is unreadable. The best of love, my diary, to you. You are aiding me through my journey, through the feelings in which I must forget. Thank you.


	10. Chapter 10

Dear Diary,

Today's a new day. A new day full of opportunity, full of vacancy signs, awaiting new emotions to rent the spot. But they must pay their landlord, their boss, me. They must let me use them, show them. Any one of them is better than the one's I have been forced to house already. _Fear, regret, love. _So far they have deceived me, hated me. Plagued me with their presence. Now, I am ready for another to move in. My life has been full of this, waiting. Waiting for the one right emotion to come, and stay. _Happiness. _Will it ever come, diary?

So far, I have told you the event to which led up to now. But I have failed to tell you of one. This is hard for me to express, but I feel if I tell you, then maybe it will be easier in the future. Forgive me if I stutter, of if I skip through time.

It was a month ago, the night was anew and the moon shone heavily upon the grass floor. I stood examining with extreme curiosity at the insects that traveled over the blades of grass. Their bravery amazed me. They climbed over objects more than ten times their size, with no hesitation, no thought. They just went, not caring what would happen. They just thought to themselves, "I must return this food to my family." Such unselfish creatures, insects were, and it baffled me. Here, an insect, could conquer its biggest enemy, when I stood, knees weak, at mine. I cowered into a corner with the simplest mention of the word, _Mortal. _"When will this fear leave me?" I found myself whispering. I lifted my quivering, fragile hand up to brush a strand of midnight black hair out of my face.

"Are you alright, my dear?" Janice's voice came, rough and dry as it always was, from behind me. I did not turn to face her, but kept blankly staring at the ground. I shook my head and replied.

"Yes, Janice. I just-" I stopped, unable to find the words. I felt a hand, bony and small, fall upon my shoulder. This broke my trance and I looked up, still unwilling to look at her.

"My child, you must tell me your fears. Only then can we conquer them." The hand slid off my shoulder and I heard the wind as it fell to her side. I turned, head down, to face her. Tears were welling in my eyes and refused to let her see my weakness. I heard her sigh, then she began walking over to a leather chair in the corner. She patted the chair that sat next to it, gesturing for me to accompany her. I obeyed, for I could not refuse her as I had said before. She held some unknown power over me, beckoning me everywhere as if I were her doll, her porcelain doll.

I sat, gently it seemed, and for the first time looked into her eyes. They were amazingly blue, like oceans. Their energy and fulfillment held my attention. I couldn't look away! I couldn't will myself to look away! She realized my gaze and let her lids fall together, then she looked down at her fumbling hands in her lap. She then, once more, placed her hand upon my shoulder.

"Tell me what bothers you, my child." Here it was again, the commands. I couldn't disobey, to refuse would be impossible. I parted my lips, but no words released. "I-" My heart skipped in excitement and fear. Could I conquer my fear, could I climb over this blade of grass? "I feel as if my life is over. My love, my life." She stared blankly at me, as if not understanding. "I know I am dead, scientifically speaking, but when James sunk his teeth into my neck, and my blood poured into his mouth. I felt as if I had just been born, just brought into the world. My life had begun that night."

"My darling, then what is the matter?" Her ignorance aggravated me. My eyes darted away from her glance, for I did not want to become caught in the web that is her eyes.

"The problem? Well, the problem is that I am afraid. Afraid of what I must do, of what I must leave behind." My own words struck me in amazement. I knew them deep in my soul, in my mind, but hearing them come from my mouth scared me even more. What control did this woman hold on me that she could force these emotions from me?

"What you leave behind will be there once you return. My child, you are the future, the solution to the long-lived problem of your race. There is no backing out." I stood, angry and frustrated at the ignorance she was showing, the lack of compassion.

"I know there is no backing away from this! But I don't want to save us, if I can't save myself. I don't want to save the race, if I must destroy myself in the process! Janice, can't you see? This is killing me, killing me slowly. Everyday my powers grow stronger, yet my mind grows weaker. My body is taking over, consuming me. All that I can think of is pain, suffering." My voice drew off in the distance, as if I was scolded by my harsh reaction. Here it came again, the world of unconsciousness. The world in which all was dead. I traveled into this world, lately, when my mind would wander. When I would get caught up in my emotions, this world would come to sweep me away from reality. At times it saved me, and at others it added to the murder.

I no longer was in that room, but walking down a damp, dark street. Dead, naked trees hovered over me, as if protecting me from something. Dead animals littered the street, and the scent of blood, of death was in the air. I felt the hunger boil within me once more, the emotion I hated most. Deep in my intestines I could feel the burning sensation of desire, of want. My eyes turned red, full of blood, the thing I wanted most, and my mind abandoned thought. All I could think of was, blood, of feeding. I searched the empty street, nothing. Nothing but dead animals. I went into the forest that resided along the street, nothing. Nothing but me, trees, grass, and dead animals. _Animals. _I thought, they have blood. Whether dead or not, they have blood. I ran back to the street, the hunger now completely taking me over.

I returned to the street, and walked over to one of the dead animals. It was a rabbit, laying legs broken on the cement. It was a black one, and it looked so helpless, so content. I didn't care the slightest and fell to my knees. I looked up to the black sky and drove my teeth into the animal. Nothing. Nothing! The beast was dead and no blood remained. I leant back from the animal and reached my trembling hands up to my teeth. Ash. Ash covered my mouth. The animal was full of ash! I scurried over to another dead thing, this time a rodent and sunk my teeth into it. Ash, more ash. What did this mean? My hunger was uncontrollable.

"Julie." I heard a distant voice call my name. I glanced behind me and saw nothing. I looked the other way and saw nothing. I looked up into the sky and saw drops descending towards my face. I opened my mouth distinctively and closed my eyes. The salty drops fell upon my tongue. Tears. Why were tears falling from the sky? I had no time to contemplate why, I just opened my eyes and searched the street again for the voice that called my name.

"Julie, come back to me." I heard it once more and pushed on further. I finally saw the outline of a human figure. _A human. _The hunger grew higher, and the burning in my groin grew stronger. I pushed on.

"My child, Julie. Are you alright?" It was Janice. It wasn't until after I sunk my teeth deep into her neck did I realize. After I had drained her fully did I know. I returned to reality and stood in horror. Janice's lifeless body lay on the dirt floor. I dropped to my knees.

"No." I screamed. "No!" My heart had ached beyond belief. I tangled my hands in her thick, grey hair. I buried my face within her bosom. I couldn't believe what I had done, and I hated myself for it. The new vacancy had been filled, by hate.

"Julie?" Whispered a voice from the doorway. Slowly I raised my tear filled face. In the doorway, standing strong and confused was him. With his deep green eyes, his slicked back black hair. My vision was blurred and I hadn't realized who it was. But as my tears cleared, I stood in amazement. James was here, and at this moment. Curse his timing.


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Diary,

Without words, I stared into his eyes. I felt the pain and sorrow rush into my body as I discovered what I had done. The ecstasy I felt before was gone, completely gone. I backed away from her lifeless body in horror, stumbling over myself as I did so. James just stood, staring, unbelieving of what he was seeing. It pained me to see that look in his eyes, that gaze of disbelief, of pain. I opened my mouth, attempting to speak, but no words traveled from my blood stained tongue.

"James-" I muttered, leaning my head upon the couch behind me. "Listen," He shook his head wildly. He did not want to hear me talk. I found the strength to stand and I did so. My legs were weak and shook with uncontrolled vigor. My heart was completely stopped, and I gripped at my chest in fear.

As I shuffled towards him, still swaying with the feeling of blood in my body, he frightenedly backed away. "James." I whispered, tears inundating my voice. I reached up my hand towards him, as if entranced by him. I reached for him, as if reaching for a distant star. Still, he shook his head and backed away. "No." He said. "No."

"Just stop, James, please. It was an accident." For some reason he was completely horrified. Was he not a vampire? Had he not seen blood as this? Had he not felt the lust?

"No, Julie, you are no longer our savior." His words cut through me like a knife, a newly sharpened, metallic knife. "You are now the monster." He continued backing from me, out the door and into the wild jungle. His back hit a tree and he stopped. I could hear the monkeys screeching around us, the insects making their noises, the birds chirping their songs. I could feel the warm rain upon my bare skin, the moonlight flashing over my body, but all I could see was him. His horrified face.

"Just let me explain, James. Please." I dropped to my knees, my legs splashing into a puddle of mud. Tears began flowing down my cheeks, and I reached up in disbelief to touch them. "Please, I can't lose you." I whispered.

I felt a hand graze my cheek, then rest upon my shoulder. Its coldness amazed me, a cold shock of ice in the warm rain. I raised my head, trying to pull back the loose tears. There stood those green eyes, staring longingly into mine. They were glazed with wet tears, and that made them all the more beautiful. "James," I whispered once more. My love for him was beginning to destroy me. Was this not what Jannice had said? _Do not let your emotions destroy you. _Forget her, you killed her, she is dead. I lunged towards James, leaping into his grasp. My arms flew around him, and my face plunged into his chest. I let the tears flow freely now; I let myself drown in a puddle of sorrow. James just stroked my hair and gazed up at the falling rain. Time passed, it seemed like hours and we just sat there in the pouring rain, intertwined. He began singing a tune, seeming to try to calm me. I still remember it, it went something like this:

My love, let your tears disperse 

_Let your sorrows be gone_

_Leave all thoughts of the worst_

_Let my love be all you need_

_To dry those unwanted tears._

These words succeeded in calming me. My tears indeed did disperse and all seemed right in the world. I forgot about the blood, about Jannice lying lifeless in the jungle cottage, and about the mother and two children. All I could think about was him, and all his love. Of his eyes, his voice. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. But he teased me, dangled his love in front of me, then yanked it away with a careless motion.

He stood, releasing his grip on me. "We must leave, immediately." He said, no emotion tracing in his voice. I still sat on the mud filled puddle, looking lovingly up at him. I nodded then placed my hands upon the ground. The mud splashed up towards me and I made no attempt to move from its path. He reached his hand down to me, I took it and stood. He pulled me into an embrace. "I am sorry." He said, whispering into my ear. I nodded, then pulled him closer to me. "I love you." He whispered, then my heart soared. This situation had turned for the better.

It is hard for me to say, but as I look upon that moment now, I am somewhat glad I sucked Jannice dry of blood. It caused that loving moment between me and James. I regret nothing.


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Diary,

Days dragged on, and Jannice's body lay, still, motionless upon the dirt floor. I had not mustered up the strength to move her frail body. _I killed this woman. _The thought wouldn't leave my mind. It taunted me, bringing me ever closer to the edge of insanity. If it were not for James, I believe I would have tumbled off that cliff decades ago.

Through his strange behavior, sudden departures from the little shack of a home, and hurried words which flew together into one great slur, I could tell the "war" was drawing closer. Perhaps closer than ever imagined. He couldn't stay still. We would sit in the rickety, wooden, stick-chairs but he would fidget. He would shuffle his rear, as if not able to get comfortable.

"What's the matter?" I asked continually. And time after time he would reply, "Nothing, nothing at all. Don't worry yourself." I would rise from my seat and gently, majestically glide over to him, compassionately wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I would shower his forehead with loving kisses. I would repeat loving words, such as, _I love you _and _I am here for you._ They never worked, but it made me feel better.

All this brings me to this day, this long-awaited day. The day he told me what I am to actually do. He explained to me the plan, which was worked out centuries before me. I was to sleep for one whole week, without waking at all. (This would enhance my powers, as well as beauty.) Then, I would travel into the city of Los Angeles, to search for the vampire hunters. My beauty, and newfound powers would cloud their judgment of my vampirism, trick them into thinking I was mortal. I would befriend them, and become one of them. I would train with them, learn their ways. Then and only then would I be able to destroy them from their source. I would only then save the entire race.

I am now writing in the dark, with only my night vision to aid me. I am in my sarcophagus, to stay for a week. Slowly, carefully I will tell you the events that led up to this situation. For they are quite complicated, full of good-byes and tears, of screams and echoes in the dark.

James' face was distant, as if he was staring at a distracting light in the distance. It seemed as minutes passed, he could see the light travel towards him and his eyes widened. He never did look me in the face in those long moments and I returned to my old ways of begging for attention. "James," I said, my voice shaking with uncontrollable fear. "I cannot do this." The invisible light diminished, and he looked at me. No, not at me, more just in my direction. He did not stare into my eyes, blazing into my soul, but merely looked at my face, with no emotion whatsoever. "Julie, do not doubt what you can and cannot do." Silence.

In the background I heard a clock strike its two o'clock bell. I was still demanding attention from James, my eyes peering into his blank face. Then, to my surprise I saw a lone, sparkling tear travel down his face, glistening in the darkness. "It is time. Come." He stood, still no emotion in his body. I followed, obeying every one of his commands. He shuffled his feet along, and once more I saw his weakness. Stress, love, fear. He traveled into the bedroom. The red curtains draped the walls, covering the golden wallpaper beneath it. He stopped at the mahogany sarcophagus, and began tracing his finger upon the ridged edge.

With a sudden, unexpected force he threw off the lid. He looked at his feet as he silently gestured for me to get in. I obeyed once more and lifted myself into the coffin. I felt the soft feeling of the red velvet upon my smooth skin and tiny bumps spread across my body. I stared into James' eyes again, hoping he would do the same, but he quickly looked away. He lowered his torso to the end table next to the coffin and brushed his hands upon the hammer and nails that lay upon the table. "I love you." He whispered, yet another tear falling from his eyes. "Never forget that." I nodded, silent with fear. A lump had blocked all words, all noises. He gestured with his downward facing head for me to lay back. I did so, not looking at him, but straight ahead, as if moving would send me tumbling through space.

My last vision, my last image was his face. His tear filled eyes, those green eyes glazed with salty tears. His lips were forming the words, "I love you". I was smiling, perhaps in fear, but mostly because of those words. Was it impossible for me not to smile when such words were spoken to me? The banging of those nails, I will never forget. The bloody banging, I can still hear it. It is torturing me, that blasted banging that trapped me in this place. I am trapped in death, the box of death. Luckily, before I was told to enter this coffin, I grabbed you, my beloved diary.

That is all I have for now. Perhaps at a later time, I will write. But now, I will attempt to sleep, if my dreams allow it. If the pounding of those nails does not come back, if it does not wish to torture me any longer. For now, diary, good night.


	13. Chapter 13

Dear diary,

Sorry for not writing lately, for some unknown reason I am weak and frail. This dark coffin is slowly draining the spirit and energy from my body. I swear by it! Every night, at least I believe it is night, I slowly flicker my eyes open only to find myself staring at the red velvet lid. I am becoming sick of that bloody sight! And, oh! My hunger! It is growing stronger by the second. And the mere word 'blood' sends it soaring. Why, just merely writing the word, then seeing it spilled in ink is destroying me. What does James believe he is doing? Torturing me like this?

If it weren't for the frequent visits he has made, I would begin to believe he no longer loved me. If it weren't for that deep voice every night, slowly piercing through the thick mahogany sarcophagus, I would surely go mad. Why, just the other night he came.

I heard his footsteps, slow and strong, postured and silent. I, at first, heard them at a distance, and then heard them stop. My heart sank instantly, but began as I heard his steps once more. They were slowly coming my way, as if he was doubting coming at all. They would begin, then stop. But as I lay patiently in the jail cell of a coffin, he eventually ended up in the room. I did not realize his presence, until his deep voice arose.

"Julie, my love." I heard him whisper. A sort of pain was spread across his tone, obviously overcoming his presence. Would it consume him? Fear always seemed to do that to him, overtake him completely.

Suddenly I heard the slow tapping of his fingers upon the lid of the coffin. I could sense his discomfort and opened my mouth, wanting loving words to release, but all I found was a soft intake of air.

"I know you must despise me. But Julie, in time you will thank me, you will see, it is all for the best." Was he sobbing? The silent gasps of air made me believe he was. Once more I searched for something to say, but found nothing. I could still envision him. He was probably leaning casually against the sarcophagus, with his arm rested upon the lid. His fingers were most likely dancing wildly up and down, tapping nervously upon it. His head was probably directed towards the ground, in some sort of shame. _You needn't feel any shame, love. You are doing what you must._

"Just please don't hurt me with your silence, Julie. Say something, my love, please just let me know you no longer hate me." Silence. Nothing but pure, undisturbed silence. It seemed an eternity before it was broken by his sigh. His sigh of despair, of pain. "Okay." He said simply, standing up straight, no longer leaning on the coffin. "I understand."

Instantly my heart ran cold, my life slowly moving by. Everything was happening in slow motion. My hand, slowly moving up towards the lid, slowly banging upon it. My screams, syllable by syllable echoing through the tiny box of darkness. And finally, James' pleas, his beg of silence. "Please stop, Julie! I promise everything will be alright." These words eased my pain, and seemed to pull my hands to my side once more. I heard his hand sliding, compassionately, up and down the lid. He was whispering, "It will all end soon, just be patient." He was crying again. A slow song seemed to come to him, and unwillingly release itself from his lips.

"My love you will be safe- Safe from all that roars- From all the soars- I am here for you, my love- Like a white, silent flying dove- You will defeat what is fake- You will demolish the evil snake." He stopped. The silence returning again, but the song seemed to still play in my head. Like an unending melody it was, cursing me with its beautiful words. You will defeat what is fake. It was a new medication, a new method of dealing with this madness that was slowly beginning to take hold of me. Through the nights of uncontrollable hunger, through the seconds of my screams of fear, my banging of the fists, this will tame me. Tame my fear. All is well once more. But tonight it is especially hard to deal. The lust for blood is bellowing deep within my groin. It is stabbing my heart with dread. My eyes are beginning to swell, and the tears of blood wanting to flow down my cheeks. But I cannot find those tears, for my body is drained of blood, no ounce to be found. How long must I endure this blasted torture? The simple answer is there is no answer. It all depends upon what James thinks is best. In the mean time, all there is to do is to silently sing his song, close my eyes and give in to the darkness that surrounds me. 


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Diary,

The silence wore on, just as the days dragged by. His visit faded, and my love for him grew stronger. Relief was a word I longed for, a feeling I could only imagine, a far-fetched thing. Even to this night, this second, as I write down these words, I no not that feeling. But I have tasted it, barely had it graze my tongue.

The teasing started with dreams, ones that taunted me every day. It seemed with every sunrise, with every morning dove song, the dreams grew stronger, clearer. Now, as I sit, still in this bloody coffin, I know the full dream. The whole story makes sense at last. At first, in the hours of my first time of seeing this dream, I was puzzled beyond my wildest imaginings.

_The dream started with me, silently but briskly descending down a lonesome, dark hallway. Heavy velvet drapes hung from the walls, accompanying the mysterious paintings, with eyes that seemed to watch you as you passed. Metal soldiers littered the sides of the narrow passageway. Where they guarding something? Impossible, they were empty. But I paid no attention to these things. My eyes were merely blankly staring ahead, fixed into the distance. _

_The whole dream was so realistic. My footsteps were hard, stern and I could feel them as my leg tightened with every motion. I could hear the creaks of the old, dark floorboards. I could smell the dusty air, all of it was ghostly real. _

_There were no others in this narrow hallway, just me and the rats that scurried along the floor. Their tiny nails made an annoying clicking noise, a fast paced 'tick tick'. Still, no emotion showed in my face, just the look of curiosity, of confusion. I pushed on towards the end of the hallway, it coming ever closer. My speed had not slowed at all, I was still moving at a good pace through the dusky passageway. _

"_Is anyone there?" My lips parted, and released these foolish, child-like words. There was no fear in my tone, no bit of vulnerability to be heard. I realized this and was immediately encouraged to stiffen, to be even braver. I was an invincible heroine. _

"_Hello?" Why was I so childish with my word choice? My answer was silence, pure, undisturbed silence. Rats no longer scurried, and my steps no longer made any noise. All settled. I had stopped and only realized it minutes afterwards. _

_In the distance a faint child's song could be heard. "My love you will be safe. Safe from all that roars, from all that soars. I am here for you, my love. Like a white, silent flying dove, you will defeat what is fake! You will demolish the evil snake!"_ _James' song! It struck me just as the child's voice died off. 'No! Keep singing, my blessed child. I long for more!' I thought to myself. That sweet, intoxicating voice, so innocent and loving. Why I needed it, I shall never know. But the notes that child sung, they flew from the mouth and into my ears, caressing my soul with divine love and care. I had always been a sucker for undeserved love, and that is exactly what that child was teasing me with. _

_I began walking once more, towards the direction in which I heard the addicting voice. "My child! Where do you wait?" It began as a whisper, then elevated into a shout. I was drawing nearer to the wall at the end of the hall. My steps slowed, and my heart descended into my stomach. "Where do you wait?" I repeated, this time it acting as more of a plea, a beg for a reply._

_The hallway ended. The wall cutting me off from the beautiful child. Blasted wall! "My love you will be safe-" I heard the voice once more. With disgusting fury I threw myself upon the wall, groping at the already peeling floral wallpaper. Silently I fell to my knees. Tears were pouring from my eyes, down my cheeks and resting upon my lips. They tasted of blood and I reached my trembling, frail hand up to touch the tears. Indeed, they were blood! My breath sped, and my heart did as well._

_I looked to my left, the blood droplets falling to the floor. Another hallway, no a room! Quickly I stood, fumbling to my feet. I reached out my hand to grasp the wooden doorframe. I peeked around the corner. "My love you will be safe!" The child was there! No, this could not be the child. The lovely little child was not what I envisioned. Not even close. This child was dressed in a white, bloodstained nightgown. Her dark, luscious curls spilled over her shoulders caressing her cheeks with the finest care. Blood tears also filled her eyes, and streaks of red covered her perfectly plump cheeks. She was holding a bundle of white roses, which were the most divine roses I had ever seen. Sun seemed to shine upon them alone, and darkness upon the rest of this poor child's body. She was barefoot, and seemed not to care. Her hair was crusted with blood and one, lone curl was plastered to her face with the dried liquid. But as I looked closer at the child, the more I noticed the two, sharp, white fangs that resided in her mouth. _

_I moved closer to her, my arms outstretched as if to embrace her. "Come to me, my child of darkness." I whispered, not so much to her, but for my own amusement. But as I drew closer to the child, the room grew darker. And in an instant the room was entirely consumed my darkness, blood poured down the walls, and laughter echoed throughout the tiny room. Her voice had contributed to that laughter, it adding to the eerie feel. "No, mother of us all, you come to me. Let me consume your soul!" Said the child, grabbing my arms and pulling me down to her height. _

_Her eyes were entirely red, and her skin as pale as the whitest paper. Her grip was inhuman, impossible for any child to possess such a grip. "You are mine! You belong to hell!" _

I awoke, my arms pounding upon the sarcophagus lid. I was screaming for James, but my plea was only met by more dreaded silence. It seemed mere midnight, and I forced myself back asleep.

Since that night, I have thought upon this dream many a times. Am I to destroy the world, instead of save it? Am I a prophet of hell? This is all possible, and the more my mind conjures up these thoughts, the more I am beginning to accept the fact that I am a demon. I am not meant to help the world, but merely demolish all that is left of good. If this is my fate, if this is what I was put on this earth to do, then so be it. I shall fulfill that prophecy that had been written down centuries ago, the ancient work of art that gave so many of my kind hope. This is for you, my children. I shall fulfill what man has made of us, I shall prove him right. In all their preconceptions shall prove true. I shall be a monster, unimaginable even in their wildest dreams. I shall kill without mercy, feed without guilt. No more dreams shall haunt me, they will merely entertain me. They will be as movies are, creativity for the mind. They will give me ideas, however gory, demented, or crazy. I am to accept my fate.


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Diary,

A screech, a distinct screech that had so much power it could wake the dead. (Which is exactly what it did!) My eyes flickered open, carefully revealing the thick darkness that still surrounded me. The walls no longer seemed to push up against me, they were merely just _there_ now. I could reach out and touch them, run my hands down the sides and it would no longer bother me the slightest bit. It all came with time, the easiness of living in darkness, of not seeing light for days, weeks on end. I could, however, see in the dark, faintly make out the outline of my hand, the crevasses of my fingers. But for the most part, it was pitch blackness that I resided in, and I grew used to it, actually beginning to love the fact that I had no clue as to what was around me when in fact I did.

But as for the screeching, it came early into the night, beginning as a faint, weak noise, but then growing louder by the second. It started with a sort of pulling noise, like nails being pulled from wood. This excited me, for I knew that it was nails that kept me contained in the sarcophagus. If they were indeed being pulled from the thick, mahogany that I would soon be free. The screeching could be the silent moans of the wood, making itself known as the strong, beautiful being outside of it shoves it from its bottom. _James. _His name was bliss, pure indescribable bliss. Yes, this screeching had to be the lid coming loose from the coffin. It has been nearly a month since I was nailed into this coffin.

What's that? Another noise, a gentle rattling of chains? I could not tell, my senses were weak, weak with hunger, with anticipation of escaping this prison. Slowly, I raised my hand up towards the lid, willing to move. Nothing. My powers seemed completely gone with the hunger that was beginning to control me. My hand dropped carefully to my side. A sigh of relief escaped my lips just as I attempted to shift my weight to my heels. I stretched my ankles out so my toes would carefully graze the end of the coffin, carefully enough not make a noise.

Desperately I tried to listen to the outside voices. I did not know if anyone was outside of this wooden jail, but still I tried. _Useless. _My hunger was too strong, too overpowering. I needed blood and the only way to get it was to burst from this sarcophagus. "Please, God, if you exist, let me raise from this wooden hell." I silently whispered to myself. I knew no one, especially God, would even give the faintest glimpse of care. I closed my eyes, forcing the pain in the pit of my stomach back. I attempted to push it further into my stomach. I sucked in my belly and gave a great gasp. "My Lord." The pain was growing stronger. I smelt blood. In this room, outside this coffin. More screeching.

The slight smell of blood must have heightened my senses a bit, because I could then hear faint voices. I halted my breathing in order to fully hear and understand them.

"James, it is no use. The lid is on too tightly, and besides she is a monster now." A shifting silence. The woman who said this seemed gentle, frail.

"She could never be a monster." James muttered, quite childish actually. Was he unsure of his statement?

"James, she is no longer the woman you knew before. Hunger has most likely taken her over. This is what must happen." I could not see her, but I know she probably placed her hands upon James' shoulders or face, for I could feel an energy release from him, one of tension. She continued:

"It happens to most, you know that more then anyone. Blood is lust, and at the same time need. James, just forget about her. War, it is not necessary. Man does not have to know about us. The hunters, well, just leave them for their hunting. It is pointless, they catch not even one of our kind a decade."

"No, I cannot just leave her in that coffin. We will go on as we have planned, however horrible and painful for the both of us it will be. Now I want you to truly try to pull of that lid, it is a mere lid, one that is easily removed."

A few seconds passed and suddenly the screeching returned, this time more loud and fierce. The coffin began to shake vigorously and the lid began to shift. A great sucking noise occurred and the lid was thrown off. Immediately, the small, frail woman and James threw themselves upon me. I do not know particularly what came over me in that instant, but I hissed and roared like a beast. Hunger was the main reason, I know that for sure. A month without feeding is hard, and it had taken its toll. I would throw myself forward, off of the coffin floor, but then just got pushed back down like a rag doll in a child's arms.

The chains, I saw them dangling from the distant wall. Sadly they drooped their hand braces, and the metallic chain links blew with the breeze that traveled through the open window beside it. The two pulled me up, still keeping a firm grip upon my shoulders and wrists. I threw myself to and fro, but found no success in the task. They slammed me against the wall, attached my hands and feet to the chains and stepped back to admire their work. Only then did I notice the streaming tears on James' face. Sorrow.

The frail woman compassionately set her forehead upon his shoulder. A sigh released from her small body and she shifted her chin to his shoulder, so she was looking him into the ear.

"James, it is for the best." Silently she drew up her hand and placed her forefingers under his chin. She seductively turned his head to face hers. "-for everyone." She ended the statement with a peck on his lips. With this I grew furious and I lunged towards her, only to be thrown back by the chains that contained me.

"Leave." James said simply to her. He carefully shoved her from his body. "This is too much, I need to speak with her." She nodded sorrowfully. "It will be over soon." She said sweetly, as if she really wanted me and him to be together happily. With that she turned and left, swaggering her hips to the sides. How I despised her, hated her. Her tiny frame, with those unusually long, slender legs. That tiny waist that seemed barely there. Her clothes that hung from her body like a coat on a chair. She was horrible, and I wished her to be condemned to hell.


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Diary,

The sharp metal pierced my skin, scrapping off pieces here and there as the cuffs dropped to my forearms. I hissed in pain, as I carefully, quite evilly actually, lifted my head to gaze at James. He was sorrowfully standing before me, arms crossed, and looking at the ground. His eyes were full of tears, and his uneasiness told me that he was afraid of something. Still, I continued with my hissing and screaming. I wanted to tell him I hated him, despised him, that I wanted him gone. But when I opened my mouth to say those words, my voice ran dry and more screeches released themselves from my lips. It was as if the true monster had been set free by the urge of hunger that had slowly overtaken me over the past months.

"James." I uttered.

Suddenly, I felt contempt, free of all anger, as if merely speaking his name had cured me of all my woes. Perhaps it was my mind playing tricks on me, maybe it was one, big masquerade in a last attempt to obtain what my body yearned for, what it needed for months now. "James, please, I need you." I sounded quite pathetic really. Nevertheless, I was not surprised of the tone in my voice because it seemed to have a particular effect on James. Silently he raised his head, and then shifted his glazed eyes over to look into mine. It seemed a deep connection was made between us, a silent promise made deep within the chambers of our minds.

"That is right, James. Come help me, I need you more than ever." He seemed in some sort of trance. Was this evil? Was it wrong to overcome him to nurture my own needs? Was this not what I was fighting against? Quickly I looked away from him. I was not going to allow myself to become a monster, the same monster that mankind stereotyped our kind as.

Although I ended this trance, James continued advancing towards me. "Stop!" I screamed. He did. What was this? "James!" I screamed. My hissing ceased and my old needy, girlish voice had returned. "Wake up!" I pleaded.

With a sudden motion, James collapsed to the floor. His arms and legs were entangled and he looked soulless and dead. Honestly I cannot say what ran through my mind. Perhaps I thought of our first meeting, of my old need for his attention. Perhaps I thought of nothing at all, maybe I merely stood staring at his motionless body for minutes. But what I do know is that that woman came running to his rescue. She was whispering all sorts of things, including: "You monster, what have you done?" and "You are the very beast that brings us harm!"

This infuriated me and I flew my body back and forth, hissing once more, growling, and screaming. I went nowhere for the chains were containing me too tightly.

"Stop it, you monster! Stop!" The woman screamed. Violently I began pulling the chains, wrapping my hands around the locks, the handcuffs, anything that I could grasp, and pulled, pulled for my life, for James' life. My screams were horrible, piercing even my own ears. Still, I kept my pace, throwing myself against the wall behind me. And with one last pull and screech the chains came loose, freeing me finally. I fell to the floor with the force of my own power.

Minutes passed, and my screams faded as well as my breathing calmed. I hadn't realized I was free at first, but finally when I did an evil, mechanic giggle came from the pit of my stomach and up through my throat. I was facing towards the floor and as I felt the woman's fear growing, my laughter became louder, and louder until I was roaring with laughter. The room echoed with it.

"Madame-" I began, my chuckling slowing. "I believe you should take back the comment you had made earlier." One last giggle ended the sentence. I looked up towards her direction. She was seated on the floor, James' head rested upon her thigh. Her clear blue eyes were formed in a sort of confused, furious gaze. Still, I smiled, waiting for her response.

"Julie, I believe I owe you no apology, nor should I take back my statement. You are a monster, look at yourself." Her words trailed off and she realized what she was saying. "I am sorry, but my phrase was correct. Do not let my words harm you, it is merely the truth." She stroked James' hair, shushing him as he shifted with a low moan.

Immediately I pounced upon her, causing her to fall backwards. With a sudden force her head banged against the stone floor, and was instantly bleeding. I know this because as soon as the blood released itself from her skull, I could smell it and I wanted it. She hurriedly brought her hand up to stop the bleeding, knowing that my hunger was increasing by the second. "Julie-" My eyes were turning red, filling with the blood that I was about to consume. It was no use for her to plead, Julie was gone. It was merely the monster now, the pure, evil, unstoppable monster.

"You have made me this way. You and James, you have locked me up. Now you must feel the pain I felt when I saw you graze his cheek with your lips."


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Diary,

"You will die slowly, no worries about that." I seemed evil in some way. I did not care about becoming the very stereotype man perceived us as. The only thought rushing through my mind in that instant was her blood spilling across the floor before me, and me smiling mechanically. That was all that mattered. James' opinion on this matter would be horrible and heartbreaking, but it bothered me to the slightest degree.

All that released from her pierced mouth was tiny cries and whimpers. This just infuriated me further. Deep inside my heart I wished for her to stop crying, to stand up and just walk out, that way I would not do what I was about to do. But every other part of my body, my soul, my stomach, wanted the whimpers to continue. I wanted them to turn quickly into screams of pain and despair. Was that so horrible? With one sweeping motion I ripped her from James' limp body. Still, she clung to his arm, refusing to let go. Did she really love him? More anger. I cried out and tore her from his arm, roaring like a wild beast.

"A monster? Only now will the monster release itself!" I was surprised at the depth of my voice, the layers upon layers of emotion contained in just those few words. Anger, sorrow, pleasure, all compressed carefully within those syllables. She cowered from me, but found herself trapped within my grasp.

"Let go!" She pleaded. She seemed to desire some sort of pity from me, but received only a smile. This was the first part of my vision coming true. Now, all that needed to be done was her death. Her spilling of blood across the floor, her body falling heavily, yet silently.

"Such a beautiful girl-" I began, stroking her cheek. I pushed a piece of her blonde hair from her face. "But such a shame it has to end this way." I exploded with laughter and this seemed to bother her further, for she began to squirm with uncontrollable rage. She was fighting for her life and this pleased me. I always enjoyed a challenge.

"Since I am such a nice person, I will give you a choice." I began, chuckling silently. "Should I tear out your heart, or merely break every bone in your body until you die of fear?" More explosive laughter.

"Celeste?" A painful moan came from the center of the room. Both of us, curious and full of wonder turned to face the voice. It was James, struggling to stand. "Celeste? What is happening, where are you?" He glanced towards us, and seemed to lose all his bewilderment and drowsiness as he realized what I was doing. This did not bother me the slightest to see the look of fury on his face. No, that is not what tortured me. Nor was it that he had come into another woman's arms while I was in my sleep. No, what bothered me was the fact that it was not my name he uttered when he awoke. It was not _me _he ran towards. It was not _me _he loved.

"Julie! Release her!" My arms fell limp, as if a tiny child caught in the act of retrieving a forbidden cookie. Immediately, the woman ran into his arms. Burying her face in his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. He stroked her head and he whispered comforting words in her ears.

I was stunned, stuck to my spot, unable to move. My love, the one that got me through the days of darkness, the one who gave me a reason to live, the one who I desperately craved days on end, loved another woman! Did he no longer love me? This could not be. He could not love another so quickly. We have spent years upon years in each other's company, yes, we have grown to love each other. This woman had no right, no right whatsoever. She did not deserve him, his touch, and his gaze, none of it. I wanted to charge her, run with flailing arms and crush her body against the wall. I wanted to feel her bones crush beneath my hands, and wanted to see her eyes when she realized my anger. I wanted her to know that she had tampered with the wrong love. But I stayed, my mouth elongated and my eyes glazed with tears.

Compassionately, James led her into the other room, rubbing her back lovingly as he did so. He was trying to sooth her tears and calm her breathing. When the two left the room, my trance was broken and I realized the series of events that had just occurred. I realized my murderous rampage and all that would result from it. I now knew that his love would end, he would no longer look at me as a hero, his heroine, but he would now share Celeste's view and think of me as a monster. I dropped heavily to my knees, burying my tear soaked face in my palms. My sobs were loud and drawn out, and I could, not for the life of me, make them stop.

Moments passed, and it seemed that James had left for good, with not even the slightest glance at me. But suddenly, I felt his masculine hand against my shoulder. I felt him carefully raise me from the floor and bring me into his arms, where I drew my head down towards his chest. I was ashamed. Under my sobs and gasps for air, I heard him shushing me, soothing me as he did to Celeste.

"Why are you doing this? Don't you hate me?" I whispered as I raised my head to look him in the eyes. He, too, was crying. He said nothing, merely put his hand upon my cheek and drew me back into his arms.

I loved the smell of him, his warmth. Me against his body, I loved everything about him. And I realized the depth of my love in this instant. My jealousy and fury of Celeste had driven me to find the love I possess for James. I thank her for that.

"I could never hate you, Julie. No matter the extent you pushed me." He whispered, rocking our bodies back and forth.

"But-" I began, but then ceased as I found that no words could release themselves from my throat. My eyes danced to the left, then to the right as I struggled to find the words that so desperately needed to be said.

"I do not love her." His voice was deliberate and firm. And with those words, my heart skipped and my mouth pushed against my face, resulting in an evil, mechanic, happy smile.


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Diary,

My soul is dead. Dread and jealousy have spilled the true-ness of myself over the edge. However, I feel there is, somewhere deep within this lifeless body, a fragment of myself left, fighting for the very life of me. But I find myself still seeing the cup half empty, not half full. This war situation is beginning the get to me. Why, just the other night I had a visit, just as the sun was going down, from James.

I opened my eyes cautiously and carefully as I always did every night. Darkness was spilled all around me, but still I could make out every shape in the room. The closet across the room, the chunky end table beside me. The long, drawn out months in the sarcophagus had heightened my senses, and made me more aware. It had also begun to diminish the thirst that plagued so many vampires. It was still there, do not mistake any part of that, it was merely covered for the time being.

But as the minutes wore on, and as I sat there just staring at the various objects in the room, my mind stood at a blank. Moments like these are when I realize the monster I am becoming. The drastic change in which I have undergone since my birth into darkness. I have begun my descent into becoming a mindless monster of hell. I would lie if I said it was not intriguing, however. Being a demon-savior, cloaked in the darkness of Hell has an odd attraction. Who knows, maybe it is just my deranged mind making up false feelings once again. Feelings, which only lead me into sorrow and devastation. Feelings like the love of James. But one feeling which has never deceived me, never wronged me the slightest is hate. Hate, a strong emotion only curable by revenge. I felt this for Celeste, the blonde vampire vixen, hanging all over the love of my life. Her very presence taunts me into an uncontrollable rage. But that is for another time. Once this battle with man is over and done with, she will get hers. She will receive the raft of the beast that defeated man. She will regret the day she laid eyes of my face, the day she flaunted her slender body in front of me.

Of course James would reject to my little endeavor. But the way things are going, I see that he will not desire to return to me after it is all over. I see the way he pulls his glances away from me, as if I am some sort of circus beast. He believes that I am clueless as to his new fear of me, but I am not. He is in all actuality the clueless one. He does not know what I plan to do to his lover when I am given the opportunity. The best decision is for him to just return to me.

But as I just lay in my cot, I thought of none of this. It is merely my useless rambling that at the end of the day makes me feel more at ease. But quite oppositely I was thinking of absolutely nothing. And just as I forced myself from the bed, a knock made itself known at the door. I told the person behind the door to enter, and indeed it was James.

At that second is when I realized his pathetic appearance. How weak and useless he looked. His skin sagging, and his slender form just dangling in the air. Had he always been like that? So slender? So weak?

"Julie, we must talk." He glided gracefully over to sit beside me on the cot. I said nothing, just looked at his movements, amazed at the weakness I had just seen.

"Days are dwindling." He began. He saw my state of lifelessness and placed his hand upon my shoulder. It seems he was speaking with his eyes, saying that everything will be okay and all I needed to do was hang on to my sanity. At this moment it seemed the monster inside me took a backseat and I returned.

"I know the past year has been stressful for you, and we haven't really added to the relief." He dropped his head to look at the floor. His hand followed the motion and landed silently on his lap.

"No." I began. It seemed I was speaking for the very first time. "Me loving you has only helped. Don't ever say that it was bad. No, it was quite the opposite. I love loving you." Instantly I shrank back, as I finally realized what I had said. He smiled and returned his gaze upon me.

"Good. I was worried that our love was interfering. But Julie, you know what must happen after the battle, do you not?" His smile dispersed, and a sudden worry swept across his face.

I shook my head in unknowing. He let out a grave sigh and stood as if bothered by something. He walked across the room, holding his hands in front of him.

"We must never see each other again." My heart ceased beating. The room began spinning and I did nothing. Was the monster overtaking me again? Would all speech be lost? No. I fought back, opening my mouth but only releasing a silent mutter.

The room would not stop spinning and I rose my hand, willing to say something, anything. Tiny grunts and squeaks came from my throat. James stood there, not realizing what was happening. He had his head lowered again, another sign of weakness. I, however, did not have a chance to examine this. The room just would not stop spinning.

"Julie, I know this is difficult, but it is what must happen." He was clueless. I could not make out anymore of what he said. It all seemed like a giant groan, and with that I collapsed on the cot.

Now all I remember is James rushing to the bedside, calling wildly for Celeste to come in the room. I saw her standing over me and threw my hands out wildly, I believe attempting to strangle her. I was far too weak to do any damage and I knew this so I dropped my hands to my stomach.

And I awoke, alone in this room, dried tear upon my cheeks. Whether they were tears of sorrow or tears of pain, I do not know. I barely remember the images I have told you. Now, James' words of us never seeing each other again. I knew this already, and I have spent many a nights contemplating as to how I am to win him back after the battle. I cannot lose him, for if I am not already insane I will surely become mentally incapable of living.

I have not seen anyone in this bloody lair for some hours, and I am beginning to believe the two have run off together. But do not fret, Diary, I will find them. And when I do, Celeste will die slowly and James _will _love me again. And if he does not, I will force him to, no matter the cost.


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Diary,

How many times have I awoken alone? How many times have I told you of darkness flooding the room surrounding me? Of the faint outline of objects that make themselves present? And of the faint ache in my heart of the happenings of the night before? Many times, and I am sure that if you have a mind, a beating heart, you would grow tired of such words, but since you lack those, you shall hear them evermore.

But even if you were possessing such things, you needn't worry. Tonight it is all different. Everything seems to have changed and for the better. On this night, I awoke, not feeling the usual sorrow that plagues my every movement, but I felt a peculiar joy radiating from myself. I was happy, something completely foreign to me since the days in which I searched for James' attention. Ah, the early years of my dark life. Those were when thoughts of the war did not haunt me, and the face of Celeste did not ache me, and James' words were far from hurtful.

Not only was I happy on this night, no, I did not see the usual foggy outlines of the furniture in the rooms. But I saw the entire images! I could see the mahogany desk across from the mahogany dresser, were my silver comb and mirror lie upon. I could see the rustic wooden chair, sitting lonely across the room, sitting just under the giant window covered in red velvet drapes. This was fantastic! Never had I seen with these eyes. Never had I felt the joy of vision such as this! And due to this new found sight, the room did not seem as if it were 'flooded in darkness' but in all actuality flooded in light. Light. Something foreign and new. A long lost friend just found once again. Oh, how I longed for the touch and compassion of that friend. For my skin to feel the warmth of its touch, and for the crisp, clear sight it brings. If only light were to take form, I would caress that form, and kiss it all over until it begged me to stop.

But none of these new happenings could stop the memories from awakening. Oh no, they could delay them but never stop them. _We will never see each other again. _James' haunting words, those syllables that seemed to drown my world into oblivion. If I was to separate from James after the war is won, then what should happen if I do not fight the war? If the war finds its way lost into space, caught up in the tangled web of love? I know, I am being incredibly selfish, Diary, but I know not what else to do. I love him so.

I shall dread this no more. I shall not think of such disastrous memories during these moments. The moments of new sight, of new felt power. Indeed, I do now feel stronger than I have ever felt. I feel as if the entire world is mine for the taking, as if I can grasp the rock within my tiny, frail hand and crush it like a spider. Oh, how I hate spiders. But no, I know such things are not possible. Even to an immortal such as myself.

These thoughts of power, the new felt superiority were brought down to reality with the faint, weak knock at my door. I pushed the coffin lid off entirely, for it was merely just back half way, and carefully and slowly stepped out of the sarcophagus. I took a quick glance around, searching for mystery items that were not there and started towards the door. I placed my hand upon the golden knob. Such tiny hands, I thought strangely. But such power they hold, do they not? I turned the knob, and swung open the wooden door. _Celeste. _Fury began to boil insanely within myself. I forced a smile upon my lips, and motioned gratefully for her to enter. She refused and began with a slow, stuttered voice:

"We must talk, Julie. I can not continue on in this fashion." She seemed afraid. Was it of me? Was she afraid of me? If so, why did she risk her ever-growing fear to see me?

"About what? I have nothing to speak with you about. Leave, please." I seemed to have lost all emotion within my voice. Was I truly a monster now?

"I beg of you. Let us talk. I do not like enemies. I have never had them, and do not wish to begin now. Please, for James' sake." This only infuriated me more.

With one swift movement I lunged at her, wrapping those tiny hands around her neck. She slammed against the opposing wall and we were now in the hallway. "You wish for James' good will?" I screamed at her. I pressed her harder against the wall with my hand still around her neck. "Die than. Leave us be!" I threw her away from the wall and onto the floor. She was whimpering in fear and possibly pain, and I began to laugh. She was pitiful. How could James even possibly think about loving her? She was weak, lame. I walked back into my room, laughing hysterically.


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Diary,

I'm confused. Perplexed beyond belief. When one mentions the word 'pain', one automatically comes to the conclusion that you are going through some physical tragedy. But lately I find that my mental self is in pain and it won't go away. At times I find myself sitting in that same velvet seat as I did that first night, swinging my body back and forth, gripping my head and screaming. Oh, pain, how you taunt me. How you spill yourself into my veins and make yourself known through my haunting screams. But why pick me? Why do you insist on plaguing me with your dreaded disease?

But this is what I dreamed of within this sleep, it is what filled my head. It spiraled around inside me like a dark cloud, covering the sun of happiness within my soul. But when my eyes flickered open, all the child like wonderings dispersed and I was relaxed. Something I hadn't been in far too long. But this feeling didn't last long, for with one powerful motion I pushed the coffin lid off of me and heard the deep rumble as it hit the floor. Slowly I rose, waiting for my vision to clear. It did, and almost immediately began to feel a strange sensation deep within my groin.

It wasn't one of ecstasy, but one of knowing. I was unsure of what this feeling meant at first but as I stepped from my sarcophagus, I knew almost immediately it was because someone besides were in the house. I quickly ran out the door and stopped as I entered the hallway. It was pitch black but I saw as if it were daylight. Step after step the sensation grew stronger, at one point I felt as if I was going to tumble to the ground in pain. But just as my bare feet hit the cold tile of the dining room, the feeling settled. But as it died away, my hearing became aware of the fact that there _were_ in fact others in the house, and I could hear them talking in the next room! I peeked around the corner, my hands beginning to tremble with not fear, but the unknown.

And there, sitting in those same velvet chairs were James and three other men. Celeste was there also, with her hand placed gracefully upon James' shoulder. I stood terrified of what was going on.

"Aw! Julie, good evening, my sweet!" I stood, still unsure of what was going on.

"Good evening." I muttered quietly.

"Come in, my dear. Have a seat." He gestured for me to enter the room and sit in another velvet chair that was placed next to him. I did so, and as I passed Celeste smirked at her, despite my fear of the situation.

"I would like you to meet Harry Mulheim." The man reached out his hand in a gesture for me to shake it. I refused and he dropped his hand in disappointment. James sighed and continued. "He is going to help us with our attack."

I saw something in his eyes, a sort of mysterious wonder. It was strange, diary, for I had never seen this sort enchantment within an individual's eyes and this told me there was no way he was human. We sat there staring at each other for what seemed several minutes, but then I finally spoke up.

"Pardon me for asking, Mr. Mulheim, but what are you? I mean, I realize you are not human. I hope I am not coming off rude in any way, but I was just wondering." I rambled like a child, with complete unregard of what I was saying.

He began to laugh, an evil mechanic laugher that rang throughout the entire house. It was haunting and little did I know it at that time, that that laughter would haunt me even more than James' did.

"No, it is alright. It is a completely appropriate question." He paused, shifted in his seat and leant forward.

"I am a werewolf." His voice was dark and rusty, something you envision in a lumber jack or muscle man. And this humbled me, made me question myself and my confidence. He was attractive, and I realized my attraction. But the only words I could find, the only ones, though unwillingly, could come from my mouth were:

"There is such a thing as werewolves!?"


	21. Chapter 21

Dear Diary,

His laughter was completely horrendous, utterly horrible. As it rang through my ears, bouncing from the walls of my lobes to the very drum of my ear, I felt myself wince. But as this occurred I found myself wanting him to laugh again, to torture me with his cackling. It was addicting. More laughter. Oh, the tingling in my ears, the uneasiness churning in my stomach, the slight twitch of my body, it was all too strange. And as the laughter continued I found myself beginning to laugh right along with him. Not a confident laugh that most do around their friends, but a nervous, self-conscience laugh. One more of politeness then of real humor.

I was not so much embarrassed of the obvious stupidity of the question, but rather the all too rare outburst of personality that radiated from myself. It seemed for one second my old self was back, overpowering the beast that now lived inside me. And I still felt that beast, but less since I had that outburst. Was it the cure? Was laughter and strange exclamations the cure, the killer of this beast? Perhaps, but for now, the grave monster was here to stay.

"Are vampires real?" He said playfully as he leant forward in his chair, playfully looking into my eyes with a slight smirk upon his face. I felt my cheeks flood with blood, and somehow I could hear my heart beating against the drum of my ear. The room suddenly seemed all the smaller and began twisting like some sort of carnival ride.

And with all these new feelings, I childishly cowered to the back of my chair. I looked away from Harry and over at James who just so happened to be staring at me. A sort of jealousy seemed to flood his eyes, and this caused a great smile to spread across my face. Carefully and softly I slid my hand around his slender bicep and pulled myself towards him.

"Is there such a thing as moonlight or the careful patter of mice on the ground of an alleyway?" Honestly, he was very sarcastic and this somehow made me want him even more, but hate him nonetheless.

"Okay-" I said hoarsely. I cleared my throat and released myself from James and sat up straight. "-No need to get harsh. I understand the stupidity of my question and I would greatly appreciate it if you would forget it. But to aid you in forgetting the question, I will hit you with another. Who are you, and what are you doing here?" Confidence was filling my bones; my very blood was flowing with it. I liked this feeling, the feeling of being in control and not caring. It was glorious.

"I am here to join with you, to demolish the hunter of our kind. I am here to redeem the name werewolf and fight for the life that they took from us." I was suddenly very uncomfortable, and this showed as I sunk back into my chair and unconsciously fiddled with my fingers that lay in my lap.

"Well, what do you expect us to say? Your kind can over-run us if you get too large, why would we want to help you get stronger when we are already the strongest group?" I was suddenly soft-spoken and this shocked me.

"And how, Miss, do you expect us to overpopulate?" He raised his brow, as if he was really interested in the question. But through his eyes you could tell he already knew my answer.

"I know how you reproduce. A bite mark, it is that simple. And how would you fight? By biting the enemy, ultimately turning them into your kind. I am sorry, but that is just out of the question." My old confidence returns again.

"For a lady with such confidence in yourself and your knowledge, you do not know very much, my darling." More rancid laughter. I shuttered as the tingle ran up my spine. He leant forward and took my hands. I felt a sort of warmth I had never felt with James, a sort of feeling that nothing on earth could touch me, but his hands.

"What do you mean?" I said sweetly, my voice trembling with the nervousness he aroused in me. I turned my head, acting as if he had offended me. I was looking for groveling, pleading for forgiveness. But all I found was him letting off a soft chuckle. Than him saying:

"Let me tell you a story."


	22. Chapter 22

Dear Diary,  
He began quickly, without warning, and in some twisted way, his every action enticed me. He 'turned me on' I guess you could say. Oh diary, his eyes full of dark, mystic, evil and treachery, they beckoned me, calling upon the darkest part of my soul to come and embrace them. And just before he began his story, he reached out and took my hands in his, and pulled my face up, to make sure I looked him straight in his eyes while he spoke.  
"I won't bug you with the normal clichés." He began, a smile forming carefully across his face as he saw the uneasiness that filled every fiber of my being. "I was born "into darkness" as you vampires so often like to call it. That is rather dumb, if you ask me. But we will call it that. I won't tell you how because that is not important." He was so blunt and said exactly what ran through his mind. It was beautiful.  
"But perhaps a year ago, a boy was killed, slashed to bits, and the newspapers called it the 'Werewolf killings'. Lame. So a convention, or meeting, was called in which all werewolves had to attend." He let go of my hands, sliding them carefully back to his lap. I held mine in the air for a few moments then let them fall to my lap.

"It was the most crazy and dumb thing we had ever done. Because, like you vampires, we have 'hunters'. But anyways, as we all gathered under the Arizona sun, deep in the desert, they were plotting something horrible." 

"Wait, so every single werewolf in existence was there?" I interrupted.

"Yes, stupid isn't it?" I nodded, shying away from his confidence.

"Freddy, here, was there too and me and him were talking, like buddies do. When suddenly we heard the biggest bang I am and am sure anyone has ever heard. And we both turn around, 'cause the bang was behind us, and see a great, silver, swirling smoke moving towards us. So naturally we run." Laughter. I played along, chuckling nervously along with him.  
"Ha ha ha, you vampires are easily nerved. Calm down, sweetie. But anyway, our running was no good. Before we could even think the great, silver swarm of smoke gobbled us up. We both went flying into the air, twisting and twirling with this giant blob."  
"We were both screaming uncontrollably. Funny, eh? But suddenly we fell to the ground, along with all the others. We just brushed it off as some strange sand storm. But it wasn't until we went to reproduce that we realized what it was."

"A sterilization smoke." James spoke up, a dazed look covering his face. I wrapped my arm around his once again and squeezed him hard, not for fear, but for comfort.

"Yeah. That. Now we are unable to reproduce and they are killing us off one by one. And that is why I want to help you, or rather help myself." Again, he laughed, this time the two behind him joining in.  
Really, Diary, this was the time I cannot explain. It was like falling in a deep slumber and starting a new dream. I fell into his laughter, into his eyes, it was all grand. All the light fell into those two orbs and shone heavily towards me, engaging my every sense. It was the twister of fate, twisting and turning my insides with its every will. Oh, twister spin me around, pull at my limbs. I wish for that feeling. The feeling of wanting. Oh, Harry, how I want you. You have something that James does not, and it haunts me at every moment of the day.  
I did not ignore what he said, it was more I was just not listening. I heard it, but did not comprehend it. I just longed to look at his face, his lips, his eyes. I longed for his touch again. The touch that sent wild fires thrusting through my body.  
"That seems like a good enough reason for them to join us!" I hollered. Immediately I was shocked at my reaction. And so was James, for he snapped his head in my direction and gave me a sort of look that stopped me in my tracks. 

"I was never considering on asking you, Julie. I knew all of this already and was more the gleeful when they came to us. Harry is an old friend and I would do anything for him." James snapped.   
I opened my mouth, planning on saying something, but ended up just getting up and walking back to my room. My room, my sanctuary, where I am right now. Here is were I think, where I write and where I express.  
Diary, I confess every secret to you and really, I don't plan on stopping here. So I am going to tell you something that I would dare not tell anyone else. You have probably already come to this conclusion, but it is always good to see it spelled out. I am not sure about this yet, but I am feeling it strongly and feel that maybe if I write it, it may go away, though I wish it would stay forever. Anyways, here it is, plain and simple. I think I love Harry.


	23. Chapter 23

Love, strange. Humm…to love someone do you have to know them more than a minute, two minutes, three? Or can it simply happen in an instant, one glance into the individual's eyes? Can it happen that way? I don't know. And the question has been troubling me for quite some time. Because with this whole Harry situation, I am not sure. Do I love him? I have only known him for a day, but could I love him? I wish there was a straight forward answer, but I doubt there could be. I doubt there is a being, a spirit or soul that could answer a question as complex as love. But, all I know at this moment is that I want that twister of feeling to return. I already feel my old self returning, the mortal being that existed before I was turned into this—monster. Yes, I thought I loved James, but did I really? With him, I always felt neglected, unimportant. I felt cold and distant, not myself at all. But, with Harry, just his one presence with me, my old self is returning. I feel warm and alive.

With him, with those eyes, I feel as if I am the only one that matters in this world. I am the sun in his universe. But, I do not know this. I do not know how he feels. Does he even notice me? Does he even care about me? It sure felt like it, the way he took my hands in his. The way his eyes danced with mine and the way James tensed every time I looked at Harry. Humm… I hope it was all for a reason.

_Knock, Knock, Knock. _

Curse, who could be disturbing my time. My concentration on Harry was lost and I found myself shuffling angrily over to the door. I opened it, with a long and drawn out creak. It was Harry, standing there, rather built which I hadn't noticed before.

"I am sorry to disturb you, Julie. But can I talk to you?" I stepped aside, giving a mechanical nod. I suddenly grew nervous, and felt myself shrink to the floor. I shut the door and turned to see him sitting on my couch. This made my stomach churn with nervousness and I slowly walked over to my desk and sat there.

"I feel we got off on the wrong foot." He said so simply, that it made me shiver with its beauty.

I composed myself and replied. "Really? I felt rather good about our meeting." I chuckled and let a grin spread across my face, revealing my blazing white teeth. He did the same, only his teeth weren't as shiny as my own.

"You looked uncomfortable the whole time. Me coming in unexpectedly was wrong, rude. Sorry. It is your home just as much as it is James'." Was his voice timid or was it just me? Does he feel for me after all? Yes.

"Well—waking up to a group of were wolves in your living room isn't always the most fun." He seemed to enjoy my dry humor because he burst with laughter. That same laughter which burned my soul to ashes.

"I'm sorry. Let's start over. Hello, my name is Harry. And yes, as you may be able to tell from the scraggly hair and sharp teeth, I am a werewolf. How do you do miss…?" he could barely escape the words through his chuckling. He held out his hand as a customary handshake gesture.

"Julie. You can call me Julie. I am fine Sir. Eh—Harry. How about yourself?" I took his hand and felt a wave of electricity shock through my body and shook it, trying not to show my feeling.

"I am fine." Is all he said. There was a long silence, a very awkward, long silence. But during this silence we just sat there, staring into each others' eyes. Not flirtingly, just curiously. Just examining each others' souls. Our deepest selves. I wonder what he saw, because what I saw was beautiful.

I might have been day dreaming but as I sat there a new world opened up to me. The room went a brilliant black, no it was more of a dark violet, smooth and comforting. A wave of relaxation spread through my body, and my limbs began to soften from there tense state. In the room I saw my door open out of the corner of my eye and a giant white wave come splashing in the room. It wasn't a frightening thing, no not at all. It was more of a relaxing experience. One full of warmth and a feeling that I had never experienced before. But through the giant white wave, I saw a figure emerge. It was a large, built male walking steadily towards me. It wasn't until he was right in front of me did I realize who it was. It was Harry, with his brown, curly hair all astray and his muscular body bulging from his tight tee shirt and dark jeans.

"Julie, are you okay?" His voice was so smooth and wonderful. I blinked, something I hadn't done for at least five minutes now. Was it necessary for me to blink? I don't know, something I had never thought about. Humm…another question to ask James. I shook my head, trying to break free from the ever-lasting thought process invading me at the moment.

"Yes. I am fine. Sorry, just got caught up in my day dreaming." Ahh, I said too much. Too much. He is going to think I am stupid, a stupid, little, loser vampire. But strangely enough, he just chuckled.

"Well, I guess I should leave you. It is almost sunrise, you know." A wide, child-like grin spread across his face. But I found myself, instead of warmed by the expression, panicked by the fact that it _was _almost sunrise.

"I am looking forward to working with you, Julie." He extended his hand and I took it. He shook it vigorously and I felt my tiny, delicate hand suddenly become lost within his giant one. All I could do though, was smile and nod like a complete idiot.

"Good-bye." He said releasing my hand with that same grin plastered on his face. He turned without another word and left the room.

Not again. Not this feeling. I don't want to love anyone! Not James, and certainly not Harry. James had turned down Celeste for me, or so I thought, and I wouldn't let him down by doing to same to him. I love James, I really do, but perhaps it was just my attention loving soul that loved him. Maybe I was just feeling the new pressure of loneliness and needed his attention to work myself through it. But I find with Harry an entirely new feeling. Warmth, freedom, compassion. Things I never felt with James. Maybe I never loved James, maybe I have just been waiting for the love of Harry. Who knows. I can't think about that right now.


	24. Chapter 24

While I slept I had a dream. Now, I never dream while I sleep so this was something to note. And it wasn't one of those normal dreams. Something about falling off a cliff, or flying through clouds. No, nothing "normal". It was one of those dreams where you wake up, squint your eyes a little bit, shake your head and say: "What the hell?" It was strange and in some ways, no in most ways, it made no sense whatsoever. But all dreams mean _something, _don't they? I mean, they have to. The subconscious doesn't conjure up pure misguided images, it does it for a reason. Maybe a small reason, or maybe a larger one.

Anyway, since my dreaming is so rare, I believe I will tell you my dream. Now, be prepared, for like I said before, it makes no sense. And if this all turns out to be selfish rambling on my part, I take full responsibility of knowing that I am a conceited freak. But honestly, I believe it is something way more. Something that could someday save me, or maybe kill me, who knows? But, nevertheless, it is worth noting.

It starts with me, sitting on the beach. I am just sitting there, cross-legged, staring out at the ocean which is beating heavily upon the shore. I am wearing a tank top and shorts, with no shoes and have my hair pulled back into a pony tail. (Whether that is important is beyond me, but I am going to tell you _everything._) I seemed to be in a sort of trance the way I just stared out into that black ocean. The waves grew fiercer by the minute and began to come dangerously close to where I was sitting. But as the dream wore on, I noticed that a deep rumbling was coming from my throat, a sort of murmur. So, I listened more intently, not consciously doing so. I was whispering, with my eyes still fixed on the darkness spewing from the ocean.

"Crazy. Crazy monsters." Is all I said, and repeated over and over. _Crazy monsters. _A weird thing to whisper. Who was I talking about? This frustrates me. Why can't I figure out this dream. Sorry, I will continue.

The waves continued to crash, and they began to rise closer and closer to me. I did not move and did not even seemed fazed by the water coming dangerously close to me. I just continued staring out into the distance. I could feel, I mean really _feel _the soft mist of the water and the cool breeze grazing my face. But still, I didn't move. The water was now to my waste, and I did not move. I just kept my eyes fixed on the ocean that was now engulfing me. I felt the sudden choking sensation sweep through my throat and began to wake from my sleep. I felt the water invade my esophagus and block my air passages. (And this is strange, because I don't even need air to survive. I can go my whole lifetime without breathing, but somehow this enabled me.) I coughed, choked, gasped for air, but did not wake up and I did not do these things in my dream. I just sat there are the water level increased. But, just as I saw the darkness in front of me, as I saw it coming to take me forever, something swept me from the water. It carried me up into the clouds, carrying me like I weighed nothing at all. I could hear the deep thump of my hero's wings against the cool night air. And as we traveled further and further up into the night sky, I realized that the night was going away. I saw the sun coming from behind one of the nearest clouds and instantly I cringed at the sight. _I really did not want to die. _

"It's okay." Whispered my hero. I could not see him, my hero. I could not even tell if he was human or not. When I looked up all I could see was a bright light, perhaps the glowing of the sun. My eyes were not used to the light, and they seemed to have a hard time adjusting.

I said nothing, but just dangled in his—what were they, claws? I brought my hand up to touch whatever was grasping my shoulder. But just as I reached it, he dove down away from the light and back into the darkness. And with this I screamed in horror. I began thrashing against him, cursing him.

"Why are you taking me away from the day! Why? Why do you torture me with such things?" I screamed. I could not bear the thought of my hero being so cruel. But once more I looked up, realizing that the sun's light could not blind me in the night.

But what I saw was strange. It was a sort of dog looking animal, with midnight black wings projecting from its back. But as I studied this—thing, I realized I still had no clue what was holding on to my shoulder. I looked again, and to my surprise, nothing was there. I was flying on my own! Just following this dog like creature. Immediately I began to fall, and soon found myself wishing I were dead. I did not want this torture and anything would suffice for me to not have to endure this. I felt the wind thrash upon my skin, and the clouds pass through me. My stomach was turning and I felt weightless. I saw the ground come nearer and nearer. And I was not frightened, I was immortal after all. A fall could not kill me. But then it struck me, if I was immortal, how could I have almost drowned in the ocean? Why could I feel the water begin to suffocate me when I did not need air in the first place? It struck me hard, I wasn't immortal anymore! I was human! A moment of joy rushed through me, but was quickly washed away as I remembered that—I was about to die! My arms and legs began to flail as if it would somehow save me. Where is that winged dog? Where is my false hero? I squeezed my eyes shut. Please save me.

And then I felt a hard thud on my back. Was I dead? No. I couldn't be, I saw nothing, I felt nothing. But now I did, I felt a pair of hands wrapping themselves around my thighs, and arms holding up my body. And warmth, I felt the warmth of another creature. I shot my eyes open, hoping it my hero. But as I stared up at the being who saved me, all I could see was that same blinding light. And then I woke. I woke screaming under my breath.

What could this mean? Stumped, Diary? Hah! I told you it was pointless. But I am sorry that is all I have for you at the moment. James is calling me. Perhaps, I will write at a later time. I feel thirsty, something I haven't felt in quite some time.


	25. Chapter 25

Dear Diary,

I left you last time with my strange dream, yes. I believe that is where I left off. But now more news has flooded my mind. James had called me into the living room to go over the plans for the fight. My job, his job, and—Harry's job. Still, I blush and feel a drop of my stomach when I merely write the name, I will not even go into what I feel when I saw it aloud. But I believe it is a necessity that I tell you the new information I have just learned. I will tell it to you the way I had heard it, so as I get nothing wrong.

When James called my name, it was not aloud, it was in my head. I didn't hear his voice, but I heard him tell me to come to him. Sort of like a dog whistle, if you catch my drift. It's just a sort of feeling or movement in my body that alerts me. But he did that, and I put down my pen and walked out the door, oblivious as to what he could want. Now, I knew Harry was there with James, but it still startled me when I saw them sitting across from each other in those big, velvet chairs, leaning over the table. As usual, Celeste was glancing over James' shoulder at the white piece of paper that sat on the little table. The look that they wore was completely different. James', as usual, had that stone, cold statue expression, as if he was sculpted perfectly and dare not move, as if he would break. His eyes were blank, yet held a sort of mystery that I, myself, still had yet to figure out. But Harry's expression was confused. He seemed unsure of what James was saying and the disfigurement of his brow said it all. But when I entered the room, his eyes darted in my direction. He looked up and a smile spread widely across his face.

"Hello Julie." He said, a slight chuckle circulating in my voice. James did not look at me, instead he looked at Harry and let out a frustrating sigh. At first I thought it was jealousy but then I realized it was just his urgency taking over.

"Julie. Come sit down. We have no time to waste." He gestured towards another chair besides him, but still did not look at me. I felt that old sense of desire for his attention and it seemed to wash through my body. Why had it come back?

"Okay." I skipped to the chair, glancing at James as I did so. He shook his head and refused to look at me.

"Now, Julie these are the plans for the fight." He tapped the paper sitting on the table. "I'm not sure you will be at all pleased with them, but that is just too bad." Than he looked at me, sensing the sudden tension in my muscles. At first his glance was hard and cold, but than as he saw the fear wash over my eyes, it turned to a sensitive love. He reached his hand out to take mine.

"It will be alright Julie. No one can hurt you." He let go, and I shuttered as he did so. I wanted his hand back, I wanted that sense of safety in his grasp. I felt my hand twitch a little, but ignored the sensation and the longing to reach out for him.

"I am alright. Tell me what I need to do." My voice was blank, weak but strong. I was like a drone.

"Alright. Do not be afraid, Julie. We will be with you the whole way." He sighed, still looking at me. I shot my eyes over to him and we locked ourselves in a stare. We connected in a way I had never known, but than he looked away and down at the paper in front of him. I followed his gaze and saw the piece of paper with black letters spilled across it. I couldn't bring myself to read it, to know the horrors I must commit. So I just sat there, staring at words, but not reading them.

"We will attack from the inside. They have no sense of who is and who isn't a vampire so it will be perfect. They don't know what you really are until you have killed and have someone else's blood inside you. So, Julie, you are perfect." I looked up and both James and Harry were staring at me, slightly concerned. I nodded, both confirming his statement and answering the unasked question that was if I was alright. He nodded and continued. I looked away again, unable to see both of them with that much sensitivity towards me.

"You will go to their headquarters and ask to join them. You will make up some story about how a vampire killed your whole family and you need revenge to go on with life, something along those lines. They will put you through classes and training and you will become a hunter. You will earn their trust and learn their secrets. Eventually, you will arrange a meeting of them all and you will tell us—and that is when the fun will truly begin." I didn't have to look at him to know that he was smiling. He was happy to be able to kill them all. Slaughter them without mercy. Was that the life I would have to be apart of? If I told them the information does that mean I am killing all those people? People with wife, girlfriends, children and most importantly _life_?

I couldn't bring myself to refuse though. It was weird for me, going against something that James had said. James my maker, my lover. I always would do anything for him. "What if they refuse to make me a hunter, to let me join?" Yes, a loophole! I smiled suddenly on the inside.

"Remember your teacher—Janice?" He seemed to immediately take back the name. But, he didn't and dread spread through me like a disease. Of course I remembered her. I had killed her. She had been so kind and loving to me and I killed her.

"Yes." I choked. He glanced over at Harry in a worried manner than back at me.

"Well, you _beauty _won't allow them to reject you. They will flock to you, unable to resist you. You will 'blind their vision'". He took my hand in his again. And as he did I exhaled loudly and looked up at him.

"I know you are frightened, Julie. But there is no reason to be."

Immediately I shot back, unable to hold myself back. "I am not frightened. I just don't want to be apart of that kind of thing. Of killing so many innocent people." I felt the tears well up in my eyes, but I fought against them.

"They are not innocent, Julie. They have killed many of our kind." He was still calm, not a sense of frustration traceable in his voice.

"They are to! They have done nothing to me! And nothing at all, for all I know! And yet, I send them off to get killed for something they have or have not done! I am sorry James, I can't do it! Find yourself another pawn!" I yelled. My whole body was shaking with the force I was keeping back the tears. "I can't do it!" I yelled once more, and with the last word my voice cracked and red droplets began streaming down my face. I stood up fiercely and shook off James' hand. At first he seemed offended but than he looked away from my in disgust. I made a sort of hiccup sound and ran from the room, red tears pouring from my eyes.

I could hear James sigh that same sigh of frustration as I slammed the door to my room. I could never do what he asked. I wouldnever do what he asked! It was murder, and I was not a murderer. Maybe the story would have been different had he not mentioned Janice. The first person I _had _murdered. The topic was just so touchy that he was bound to know how wrong it was going to go. But would I not give in to him eventually? Would I not surrender to his beauty and his ice, cold touch? I would, and I knew that. So maybe I was a murderer after all. Or maybe I was just an attention whore. Was there really a difference?

I pulled my hand up to my cheek, feeling the tears all over my face. I let my hand drop and I put it out so I could see it. It was stained red with the blood from my eyes. I gasped in horror and snatched my purse that lay on my bed. I rummaged through it hurriedly, searching for a Kleenex of some sorts. I found one, and the tears started again. Savagely I wiped off the blood from my hands, my arms and my face. I grabbed a mirror from my purse and held out in front of me. I stopped suddenly from my cleaning as I saw who stared back at me. It was me. Just me. I had not changed one bit. It was almost two years since I was changed, yet I had remained the same. More blood tears. As I saw the tiny, red droplets begin to stream down my face, I became enraged. I was the same! The same! I had not aged, had not gotten uglier! I had gotten prettier! I was freaking beautiful for crying out loud! I would have given anything to be hideous at that moment. Just as hideous as I felt inside. I wanted to _look _like the monster I truly was. The monster that was about to kill millions. I wanted to be ugly.


	26. Chapter 26

Dear Diary,

I would like to say that my enraged feeling ceased at that moment, or even that it remained locked up inside myself, but it didn't. As I stood there, in my pitch black room, mirror in hand, shaking with fury, I heard a knock at my door. Not one part of me acknowledged it, but the door swung open nonetheless. I didn't have to look to know who it was.

"Julie, are you alright?" Harry's hand rested on my shoulder. It was so warm compared to my own skin that my shaking stopped immediately. The tears had stopped minutes before he even knocked and the crusted blood on my face made me look even more monstrous. His hand gently fell to my back, rubbing it ever so gently. I felt myself give in; I felt the warmth of his hand brush through me, erasing all the coldness I felt before. He attempted to pull me into an embrace, but I refused, still looking at the ageless beauty in the mirror.

"It's alright, Julie. Come here." He pulled me towards him again, and this time I gave in. I let my body go limp and dropped the cursed mirror to the floor. I heard it crash and break into a million tiny fragments. I didn't look towards the spillage; all I did was bury myself in Harry's chest feeling the blood begin to well again in my eyes.

This time I did not fight them, I just let them come as if they had been there all along. Harry buried his hand in my hair and shushed me continuously.

"It's alright, honey. Everything is alright." But the rage inside me only grew worse. I was weak, vulnerable. I pulled away from him. I was a monster, not a child. I deserved no comfort, no sympathy. I deserved to be demolished and gone forever.

"What do you want?" I asked fiercely. I forced a scowl on my face. I wanted him gone. Gone forever. He was just making everything harder. A monster cannot be in love with an angel.

"I _want _for you to feel better." He edged towards me, his hands slowly coming up to take my face. I saw this and backed up, deeper into the shadows.

"Well—I am sorry to burst your bubble, but nothing in this world could make me feel better." I stopped. Not knowing what to say. "Except if you killed me." I mumbled.

"Excuse me?" He blurted. He seemed confused and that same look of unknown worry washed over his face. The same look he was giving James just minutes ago.

"You heard me." My voice was shaking and I fought hard to control it. But in my mind, I know I failed.

"I know that, I heard you. But I don't think I heard you right." Right than he moved so fast that he seemed a blur. He took my face in his palms and leaned towards me so his face was just inches from mine. "I would never even think of killing you. Even if you dropped to your knees and begged me. You are much too precious to be wasted." A deep rumbled erected from his chest. Laughter.

I ripped my head from his grasp. His laughter only enraged me more. The same laughter that used to make me enjoy every moment I was in his presence. The same laughter that kept me up at night, pondering its beauty. Now, it only made me want to curl up and die. It made me want to kill. Yes, kill. Kill everything and everybody. Was there no end to this never-ending thirst and longing?

"Leave! Leave right now! I can't even stand to see your face!" With a gasp of horror he was shoved through the open door. He did not resist my push, but just fell limp out the door. The last sight I remember of him was me shutting the door on a confused, hopelessly beautiful face.

Oh my, Diary, this is were it gets tough. I cannot bring myself to even remember what I did next. The horrible happenings I created. But for the sake of recovery from my—let's call it "episode", I must tell you. For the first step to happiness is acceptance. But I just have to remember that I can tell you anything, that you will not judge me by my actions, or my thoughts, simply because you know them all.

But I was so hopelessly enraged. I wanted to spill the blood of everybody that looked at me wrong. And as I stood there, staring at the door I had just slammed in Harry's face I felt the deep churn of my stomach. The incredible sensation in the back of my throat, and then the rumble of hunger creep through my belly. I wanted blood, and I needed it right at that moment. At first I tried to deny the hunger, because I hadn't felt it for so long. It was by far getting to the point that it was crippling. And with the next churn I fell to the floor. Screaming erected from my throat, incredible screaming. I heard the window shatter behind me and I gave it no passing glance. I rolled onto my back, feeling the mirror shards cut into my back. This only caused another scream. I was crying again and combined with my newly bleeding cuts, blood was everywhere. I could smell it, taste it in my mouth. Why was it everywhere?! I could hear the million pounding hearts just outside my window. I could feel the warmth of the mortal skin just miles into town. It was so close, so easily accessible that I felt it all the stronger. I needed it. What was one night of senseless killing? After all I _was_ a monster!

With those words as an alibi I shot up, with my arm wrapped around my stomach and darted through the shattered window. I heard James knocking on the door as I left, but I gave it no acknowledgement. I sprinted through the woods that surrounded the house and up into town. I let my arm fall from my stomach as I crouched in the trees. The churning had stopped with the knowledge of coming blood. But the sensation stayed, hiding in the back of my throat. I crouched down further into the shadows, watching as the people passed dangerously close to the end of the woods. I fought with myself on how I was to do this without being noticed. And immediately a word popped into my head: _seduction. _I was beautiful for not just one reason. I could use this to _my _advantage. Why should others only benefit from this beauty?

I composed myself and stood up straight. I inconspicuously walked out of the woods and onto a cement path that lay in front of it. I heard my footsteps a little too loudly because my senses were heightened with the anticipation. Heartbeats flooded my head, pumping hard and strong against my ear drums. As the people walked by me, as they brushed my shoulder the heartbeats became louder, and as they walked away, softer. I waited patiently for the right one to come. I couldn't bring myself to waste this opportunity on just anyone. And as I continued walking I finally spotted him. He was in a pub on the far end of the street, laughing and chugging down a beer. I couldn't tell what he was doing, but I could tell he was terribly intoxicated. Something about his majestic black hair, and pale skin enticed me. I hurried my step and arrived at the pub in no time. I steadied my breathing and walked graciously into the pub. As I did so, I heard various hoots and hollers directed towards me, but I ignored them, keeping my task at hand. Eye on the prize. He hadn't noticed me yet, but as I sat down next to him, he noticed me right off. The bartender looked at me and I nodded, indicating I wanted nothing to drink.

"Hello." I said sweetly, smiling a flirtatious smile. He shifted his weight in his chair so he could direct his full attention towards me.

"Hi, lovely." He smiled back. As he turned he almost fell from his chair, and I let a chuckle escape my lips.

"How are you?" I said. I had a hint of seduction in my voice, trying to remember how it was done.

"I am just fine, now that you have arrived." I blushed purposely and scooted my chair closer to his. He smiled again.

"How could I make this a great night?" I asked, leaning towards him. I lifted my hand towards his face, pulling back his wild black hair and tucking it behind his ear.

"I could think of a couple ways." He said dubiously.

Just as I leaned in to kiss his neck, and ultimately sink my teeth through his skin I heard a woman yell my name. I snapped my head up in surprise. I looked around and saw no one, so I smiled sheepishly in his direction.

"Julie! Is that you?!" I turned around and saw a rather tall, blonde woman running towards me. She screamed in joy and pulled me into a hug. "I can't believe it is you! You look exactly the same. I thought you were dead, oh my gosh. Thank God! I can't believe you are here." All her senseless rambling made me remember exactly who she was. She was my old friend Jessica. She was one of those who ran from me in that dark alley way. One of my "friends" who left me to die with the mysterious stranger, James. But even though all these images flooded my head, my thirst was still uncontrollable. All the thoughts just didn't register, even though I smiled like they did.

Suddenly, her long red curls drew me in, her dark blue eyes sent shivers down my spine, and her false tan skin made me want her all the more. I couldn't control myself, I couldn't just let her slip away.

"Hello, Jessica." I said, my lips pushing against my teeth.

"Oh my God! Julie! I am so happy you are alive! Why didn't you call? Why didn't the police find you? Where have you been!? This must be a dream. Am I dreaming?" She hugged me again and the scent of her skin washed over me. It was becoming extremely hard to stay in control. "I have felt so guilty, to the point of depression! I can't believe we left you in that alley! Oh! Julie!" Tears were welling in her eyes.

I said nothing, but that did not bother her a bit. She took my hand and nodded to the man I was speaking to before. She led me out the door and into the street. The street lights were dim and it was hard for her to see me. I couldn't bring myself to look at her, what with all the temptation. I was trying to control the churning that returned in my stomach, but I was losing.

"Now, tell me everything. Where have you been?" She was smiling from ear to ear, unable to hide her enthusiasm. And alike her, I could not hide my emotion either.

"I have—" I choked back my words, both not knowing what to say and not being able to speak. "I have just been—trying to live normal." It sounded both ridiculous and traumatizing. And what with the look of pity on Jessica's face, she must have taken it as traumatic.

"Oh, Julie. I am so sorry! I can't believe we just left you like that. I am so sorry. Words don't even do the feeling justice." I saw a tear fall from her face and she leaned towards me again for a hug. I refused her, knowing that if I got too close to her again, the churning would worsen.

"It is quite alright." I stopped there. I felt the world around me begin to spin. I couldn't concentrate. I was losing, failing horribly. I felt my eyes glaze over with blood and watched as her expression changed from love to fear. She leaned forward, seeming to be confused as to what was happening. My whole body was shaking and I was trying desperately to refrain from pouncing.

"Julie, are you alright?" She took another step forward and reached out towards me. The scent was far too strong and I took her arm in my grasp and thrusted forward, hearing her arm snap. I would like to say that I hated to hear her screams, but that would just be a lie. In some twisted manner I like to hear them, knowing that I was causing them.

I sunk my teeth into her neck and began sucking out the precious blood. The world around me went black, and even though I knew there were passersby that were screaming, I did not acknowledge them. As I tasted the blood a mixture of colors swept through my mind and became all I could see. Blue, yellow, purple and some other colors that have not yet been named. It was beautiful and I didn't want it to stop, ever. My body was flying, yet kneeling on the wet cement floor. I could feel the weightlessness in my stomach and the absence of the churning. It was wonderful. I wanted this feeling more, but as I drew towards the last drops, it faded. I wanted the colors again, I wanted to fly. I needed to.


End file.
